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Author Topic: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope  (Read 1738 times)

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Koi

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I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« on: October 23, 2016, 09:50:08 AM »

I've been experiencing problems when it comes to accepting myself, and some months ago I assumed I will get LL in the future and also fix every other thing that I don't like in my life.

That's fine, and once I made sure this is possible (I mean, the procedure exists and I accept the risks/pain/time it takes), I finally stopped thinking about my physical appearence as a complex.

But I'm still studying in the university and I still need years and money, I can't be sure of what will happen in the future and that kind of makes me think many things may happen and my goal may not be reached for certain reasons. I don't know, I'm not depressed or anything but I'd like to have someone to talk about this (I'm still not telling anyone from my circles/family and I don't know how I'll tell the last mentiones ones), I'm alone in this and the whole idea that makes me feel secure it's still purely in my head, not a single part of it is already tangible out of it.

Does/did this also happen to you sometimes? How do/did you deal with it? Any advice will be welcome.

Cheers.

PS. I found out that reading the diaries from other users helps.
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #1 on: October 23, 2016, 11:09:00 AM »

I know exactly how you feel. I'm also university age and I worry a lot about how long I'm going to have to put it off and how expensive it already is in the United States. I could go to community college for way cheaper but that would only be for 2 years, I definitely want a more advanced degree. Like, do I want to give up 1-3 years of my life doing this LL? And then I have to think about do I really want to be my current height forever now that I KNOW this exists? The answer is hell no, I want to be taller than I am. I hate being short, always pictured myself taller. All my friends are 4+ inches taller than me except for 1 girl who is my exact height but that's it. Plus she has Ivy League level intelligence over me.

I told one of my friends and he's actually quite supportive as long as I can recover and feel better about my height (especially compared to other people). Other than that, that's why I joined this forum, I needed to talk to people who are going through the same stuff as me. I'm still one of the few women set out to do this even so lol.

By dealing, I usually just go through the forum, looking through topics and creating new ones. Or using Airbnb to look for apartments nearby to where I MAY be getting surgery, mostly in Mumbai bcus Parihar has no guesthouse and a hotel would bleed me dry. OR I distract myself with funny YouTube videos and going out with friends. But yeah this whole operation is kind of crazy so you can feel really alone around people thinking about it.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #2 on: October 23, 2016, 11:36:28 AM »

I know exactly how you feel. I'm also university age and I worry a lot about how long I'm going to have to put it off and how expensive it already is in the United States. I could go to community college for way cheaper but that would only be for 2 years, I definitely want a more advanced degree. Like, do I want to give up 1-3 years of my life doing this LL? And then I have to think about do I really want to be my current height forever now that I KNOW this exists? The answer is hell no, I want to be taller than I am. I hate being short, always pictured myself taller. All my friends are 4+ inches taller than me except for 1 girl who is my exact height but that's it. Plus she has Ivy League level intelligence over me.

I told one of my friends and he's actually quite supportive as long as I can recover and feel better about my height (especially compared to other people). Other than that, that's why I joined this forum, I needed to talk to people who are going through the same stuff as me. I'm still one of the few women set out to do this even so lol.

By dealing, I usually just go through the forum, looking through topics and creating new ones. Or using Airbnb to look for apartments nearby to where I MAY be getting surgery, mostly in Mumbai bcus Parihar has no guesthouse and a hotel would bleed me dry. OR I distract myself with funny YouTube videos and going out with friends. But yeah this whole operation is kind of crazy so you can feel really alone around people thinking about it.
I really appreciate your words. You clearly know how I feel... Sundays are always terrible, somehow. I guess we all are suffering here, since we're accepting such pain and loss of time in exchange of our mental suffering/self-acceptance problem... I usually read posts here but I see people having arguments, being rude, toxic or spreading rumours... We should be more supportive to each other, we all come from the same place (taller, shorter, it doesn't matter: we somehow feel the same way), I envy those who don't seem to care about their height. When I was at my growing age, my father used to stand next to me in front of the mirror to compare our heights, instead of teaching me how to accept myself no matter how I am. I'm not the shortest guy in these forums at all, but I've been teased by a few of those lucky tall guys, heard that height is one of the most attractive things a guy has and people of my height wouldn't be getting almost any attention... At this point, it's not about the respect I get from others nor the attention, it's just about the respect and appreciation I get from myself. I just can't, not anymore. I reject this body and I reject being cursed forever, and I feel like my life would only start once I've had the procedure done. Why would I work out, dress well, etc. if I'll still be the same below average height guy and nothing will change it? By now, I'm working hard on what I call the "intellectual part": studying two degrees, learning many languages and getting as much formation as I can (my growing end age may have arrived but I still have a young, powerful brain). Once I'm done with that, I'll try to get the money (still not sure if I want to ask my family, I may need to move to a foreign country in order to get a job that pays well), and then I'll start the "physical part". I repeat this to myself many times every day, and that's what brings me strength and hope to keep working. If I ever feel complexed, I just think the life I'm currently living is not the life I'll eventually have, everything regardless the "intellectual part" is meaningless nowadays. I guess we all here have a similar "masterplan" structure.

Anyway, thank you for your reply and I really hope you reach your dream, I'm sure you will. If you ever need something, I opened this thread to find people to express ourselves and share thoughts/moral support.

Cheers! :)
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The Kaiser

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2016, 11:44:18 AM »

I've been experiencing problems when it comes to accepting myself, and some months ago I assumed I will get LL in the future and also fix every other thing that I don't like in my life.

That's fine, and once I made sure this is possible (I mean, the procedure exists and I accept the risks/pain/time it takes), I finally stopped thinking about my physical appearence as a complex.

But I'm still studying in the university and I still need years and money, I can't be sure of what will happen in the future and that kind of makes me think many things may happen and my goal may not be reached for certain reasons. I don't know, I'm not depressed or anything but I'd like to have someone to talk about this (I'm still not telling anyone from my circles/family and I don't know how I'll tell the last mentiones ones), I'm alone in this and the whole idea that makes me feel secure it's still purely in my head, not a single part of it is already tangible out of it.

Does/did this also happen to you sometimes? How do/did you deal with it? Any advice will be welcome.

Cheers.

PS. I found out that reading the diaries from other users helps.


Its ok to make it secret, am gonna go through it alone so its fine.
your height play no factor when it comes to dating and friends, only in dating sites and if you're really short.

my advice is to do internal femur because it will recover you faster, safer, less-time and less-pain. Good luck
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #4 on: October 23, 2016, 11:51:50 AM »


Its ok to make it secret, am gonna go through it alone so its fine.
your height play no factor when it comes to dating and friends, only in dating sites and if you're really short.

my advice is to do internal femur because it will recover you faster, safer, less-time and less-pain. Good luck
Hello The Kaiser,

You already helped me before. As always, your answer is very useful and I really appreciate it. :) I guess I'm not talking with the people around me about what I plan to do until the very end, too. About the height issues: in fact, I think you're right, but I have also found evidences that it matters... However, I'm not doing this for dating/friends, I have reached a point in which I just want it for myself, to feel my life's complete.

I'm somehow starting to feel a bit more motivated than I was when I opened this thread. I guess I can achieve it, even if there are a few of years and lots of effort to come before!

Cheers! :D
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #5 on: October 23, 2016, 12:28:25 PM »

It's no problem. This surgery is scary as hell, it's not like getting a nose job or something, it's really invasive and a long recovery. I probably wouldn't even care about my height had I never found out about LL, now it's just KNOWING I can do something about it that makes picturingf myself being 3 inches taller feel like crack to me.

In the end though, I think will both be happier with our new height. It'll be a huge confidence boost. Do you know what doctors you like yet? Or how much you want to increase your height by?

I wish I could roll into surgery the same day as someone on the forum here, go through it with someone else dealing with the same thing right by me would make me feel 100x better and less afraid. And I would have someone to talk to.

Rebember, you can ALWAYS going back to college. You can go back to college at 80 years old, you could do classes online. It's up for you to decide if it's worth it to put those things on hold for a while.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #6 on: October 23, 2016, 01:01:46 PM »

It's no problem. This surgery is scary as hell, it's not like getting a nose job or something, it's really invasive and a long recovery. I probably wouldn't even care about my height had I never found out about LL, now it's just KNOWING I can do something about it that makes picturingf myself being 3 inches taller feel like crack to me.

In the end though, I think will both be happier with our new height. It'll be a huge confidence boost. Do you know what doctors you like yet? Or how much you want to increase your height by?

I wish I could roll into surgery the same day as someone on the forum here, go through it with someone else dealing with the same thing right by me would make me feel 100x better and less afraid. And I would have someone to talk to.

Rebember, you can ALWAYS going back to college. You can go back to college at 80 years old, you could do classes online. It's up for you to decide if it's worth it to put those things on hold for a while.
That what you said about LL is exactly how I feel about it, haha.

I'm still doing some research but Dr. Monegal has my attention at the moment, since he's not so far away from where I live. I've talked with him and he says he's able to lengthen up to 10cm.

I also think that having a "LL synchronized partner" would be great, even if it's online, haha. I'm still not sure when I'll be able to start the procedure, though... but who knows if I'll know in the near future. :D All I know is that I'm finishing my first degree in 2yrs some months, and the second one in 3yrs same months, haha. By then I'd be around 21~23. Maybe that'd be the right moment, right before starting the master.

Still looking for a way to get the money during these years, I don't wanna rely on my family in someone like this... I guess you're in a similar situation. Any plan? If I find a profitable source of income, I'll tell you, hahaha.

Cheers! :)
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #7 on: October 23, 2016, 02:08:08 PM »

So you're around 18 then? I was thinking of doing LON because you get out of the frames way quicker but I'm still waiting to hear back from doctors, and of course, consultation and all that before I actually decide.

I was thinking Parihar or that doc in Vietnam because ridiculously low price, but ONLY after I check out the place myself. 5K for surgery and accommodations! I could be there in January, and with LON, I could probably be done by May. That would be more than perfect time frame.

That's also why I was planning on doing a diary, I think I would feel a lot less alone. Hoping I'll see other LL patients in the hospital too but who knows. People have really mixed reviews on that doctor you're thinking of, so be careful.

Hopefully I can make friends with some people on here and talk to them directly while I'm going through it. But it's really scary to think about.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #8 on: October 23, 2016, 02:30:24 PM »

So you're around 18 then? I was thinking of doing LON because you get out of the frames way quicker but I'm still waiting to hear back from doctors, and of course, consultation and all that before I actually decide.

I was thinking Parihar or that doc in Vietnam because ridiculously low price, but ONLY after I check out the place myself. 5K for surgery and accommodations! I could be there in January, and with LON, I could probably be done by May. That would be more than perfect time frame.

That's also why I was planning on doing a diary, I think I would feel a lot less alone. Hoping I'll see other LL patients in the hospital too but who knows. People have really mixed reviews on that doctor you're thinking of, so be careful.

Hopefully I can make friends with some people on here and talk to them directly while I'm going through it. But it's really scary to think about.
I'm currently 19, pretty close to 20.

Thank you very much for your caution, I'm aware of what they say about that doctor and I was (and I'm still a bit) afraid of that, since I read the feedback from some users in this forum. I'm still doing some research, I have to admit those doctors you talk about seem pretty tempting to me, althought you should be pretty careful since less money often means more danger, it's nice that you want to check the place by yourself before signing in.

So you're planning on doing it in Jan, 2017? That's pretty soon! If you finally get into it and you somehow feel alone/want to talk, I plan on being an active member of this forum for a while, so you can always find me in there. I'd be happy to help/listen, plus I'm also interested in hearing the everyday process of a person during the LL process, in a closer perspective than diaries, and I'm pretty sure many of us are. You should not worry about feeling alone as long as you're part of this community. :D

Cheers!
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Alu

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #9 on: October 23, 2016, 05:19:29 PM »

Dude aren't you 5'8? I'm not gonna bash you because of your starting height, but calm down. You're acting like someone under 5'6 would. I mean reading your post makes me feel more pItty for you then remorse.

Get off the forums. You're feeding stupid thoughts into you're already twisted mind.
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onemorefoot

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2016, 05:22:59 PM »

Koi, what age did you stop getting taller? Sasha, the same question.
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2016, 05:28:23 PM »

Dude aren't you 5'8? I'm not gonna bash you because of your starting height, but calm down. You're acting like someone under 5'6 would. I mean reading your post makes me feel more pItty for you then remorse.

Get off the forums. You're feeding stupid thoughts into you're already twisted mind.

Ye i wouldn't call 5'8 myself "cursed".

No offence Koi or something but ehh, you thought about shrink?
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2016, 05:44:25 PM »

Koi, what age did you stop getting taller? Sasha, the same question.

I was 14. :(


Koi: January 2017 if all goes well with that doctor. But of course, I'm gonna check out everything first, the accommodations, hospital, patients if I can. If it doesn't seem right to me I'll just hit up a coconut stand and then fly back to the US and save up for Parihar, it's pretty much universal consensus that he is a great doc, just doesn't provide accommodations like they apparently do for foreigners in Vietnam. At least I'll get to say I went on "vacation" to 'nam if all money is wasted.  :P

And I'll keep that in mind. Thanks! Somehow reading these diaries either gives me way more confidence or I feel sick reading all the gorey details in another.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2016, 05:56:25 PM »

Koi, what age did you stop getting taller? Sasha, the same question.
Probably at 16 or 17.

Dude aren't you 5'8? I'm not gonna bash you because of your starting height, but calm down. You're acting like someone under 5'6 would. I mean reading your post makes me feel more pItty for you then remorse.

Get off the forums. You're feeding stupid thoughts into you're already twisted mind.
Ye i wouldn't call 5'8 myself "cursed".

No offence Koi or something but ehh, you thought about shrink?
Guys, I understand what you mean. I've seen shorter people not caring about their height, so I guess it's more of the psychological impact about how you feel about yourself, not the height itself. However, we all are in the same sack in the fact society's slogan is something like "if it's not big, then it's small", and that comes with a "snowball effect" that makes you feel worse and more insecure about yourself with time. I guess today's not one of my usual days, and so it's stated in the title. The fact I keep all this for myself has probably slowly made me see this problem bigger than it actually is. However, I feel unable to accept myself, at this point. I won't argue with you that I may sound exaggerated in some of my previous statements, but all I know is that I'm unhappy about myself and I'm pretty certain my height is the main reason of it. Maybe I've been too much self-demanding, or maybe my environment has. That's why I opened this thread, I wanted to know if someone else feels like this. Maybe I should also seek psychological help, anyway...

However, offending anyone (your posts made me realize that tagging myself as "cursed" at 5'8" may make other people feel bad) is not my intention and has never been.
I'm so sorry for that.

Best regards,
Koi.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2016, 07:26:21 PM by Koi »
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #14 on: October 23, 2016, 06:54:40 PM »

So are you aiming at 5'10 or something? You're already quite tall so if you decide to get LL don't do crazy lengths because you'll be taller than the average male in many parts of the world. I mean, you're taller than Tom Cruise and Zayn Malik already lol. Just be sure you really want this because 5'8 is not bad at all imo
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #15 on: October 23, 2016, 06:59:33 PM »

So are you aiming at 5'10 or something? You're already quite tall so if you decide to get LL don't do crazy lengths because you'll be taller than the average male in many parts of the world. I mean, you're taller than Tom Cruise and Zayn Malik already lol. Just be sure you really want this because 5'8 is not bad at all imo
Thanks a lot. I'll take that into account. :)
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #16 on: October 23, 2016, 07:22:26 PM »

It's no problem. Last boyfriend I had was almost 2 inches shorter than you, and it was never a problem.
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Thatdude950

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #17 on: October 23, 2016, 08:00:59 PM »

I happened to search the the Game of Thrones actors yesterday, and a lot of the stars are around your height or shorter.

The simplest and best solution is to accept yourself and focus on more important things - one day you will have to fend for yourself and your family. Accepting yourself isn't weak or giving up, it's maturing and becoming a man.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #18 on: October 23, 2016, 08:15:49 PM »

It's no problem. Last boyfriend I had was almost 2 inches shorter than you, and it was never a problem.
I happened to search the the Game of Thrones actors yesterday, and a lot of the stars are around your height or shorter.

The simplest and best solution is to accept yourself and focus on more important things - one day you will have to fend for yourself and your family. Accepting yourself isn't weak or giving up, it's maturing and becoming a man.
Wise words. Thank you both for your advice!
« Last Edit: October 23, 2016, 09:40:41 PM by Koi »
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onemorefoot

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #19 on: October 23, 2016, 08:39:23 PM »

5 8" is not enough, basically you cant feel very small but less tall, 5 10" is where things start to change, my advice is you should do the surgery.
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Alu

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #20 on: October 23, 2016, 09:10:18 PM »

My advice is to follow what ThatDude says, as harsh as that sounds in some ways, it should be your first step before you even decide to follow through with LL (after all you are ages away from it try to feel better now). Go to a shrink, see if that works out for you.

Don't listen to the overweight teenager above me.
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onemorefoot

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #21 on: October 23, 2016, 09:28:31 PM »

 The granpa has a little of reason, a shrink can be a good option if you want to waste your time cheating yourself. Save money and make a good choice, there is not another way. Just analize this guy, he says height is not a problem anymore but continues here, my bet is that he is not brave enough, and wants to be justified by the fact that other people dont do this surgery too( because they matured). ;D
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Auron

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #22 on: October 23, 2016, 09:31:24 PM »

@Koi

Make sure that it's your height that is holding you back. It's a good thing that you can't afford LL yet so you won't make any hasty decisions.
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YourSpaceBoyfriend

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #23 on: October 23, 2016, 09:33:19 PM »

But the granpa has a little of reason, a shrink can be a good option if you want to waste your time cheating yourself. Save money and make a good choice, there is not another way.

You need help.

@Koi

Make sure that it's your height that is holding you back. It's a good thing that you can't afford LL yet so you won't make any hasty decisions.

Agreed, LL is always a last resort.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #24 on: October 24, 2016, 12:34:24 AM »

@Koi

Make sure that it's your height that is holding you back. It's a good thing that you can't afford LL yet so you won't make any hasty decisions.
Agreed, LL is always a last resort.
You don't know how much I appreciate you both care about my situation. :) I'm pretty sure it's my height, but I'll follow your advice.
5 8" is not enough, basically you cant feel very small but less tall, 5 10" is where things start to change, my advice is you should do the surgery.
I guess I'll end up doing the surgery, but it's still far away from my current possibilites, so I have a lot of time to think about it. What is your current height and how much do you plan on lengthening? I'm curious.
The granpa has a little of reason, a shrink can be a good option if you want to waste your time cheating yourself. Save money and make a good choice, there is not another way. Just analize this guy, he says height is not a problem anymore but continues here, my bet is that he is not brave enough, and wants to be justified by the fact that other people dont do this surgery too( because they matured). ;D
Additional help can always be useful, they're suggesting me a shrink since my problem may not be only in my height. Even if I ever do the surgery, there are many things I'd like to solve about my self-acceptance problem and my complete lack happiness.

Cheers.
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TIBIKE200

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #25 on: October 24, 2016, 12:38:58 AM »

You are 19 years old.

 You know nothing about life and what is holding you back and what's not. You still have teen insecurities. Start living. If you will still feel small by mid 20's do LL if not then dont do.

 Not attacking you... But dont waste your time on here because of stupid teen insecurities.... Especially being 5'8...
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sashawiak

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #26 on: October 24, 2016, 12:58:04 AM »

Additional help can always be useful, they're suggesting me a shrink since my problem may not be only in my height. Even if I ever do the surgery, there are many things I'd like to solve about my self-acceptance problem and my complete lack happiness.

Cheers.

Maybe it's not the height thing, then. Maybe it's deeper than that. Maybe you're too harsh on yourself. I mean you're completely void of happiness? Investing in a shrink might be better if that's the case, 5'8 is average height so it's hard to see how that alone can affect you that much...
« Last Edit: October 24, 2016, 01:42:40 AM by sashawiak »
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onemorefoot

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #27 on: October 24, 2016, 01:36:21 AM »

Koi, answering your question, I plan to lengthen 10 cm, 5 per segment. External tibias in 2021 or 2022.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #28 on: October 24, 2016, 07:49:15 PM »

Maybe it's not the height thing, then. Maybe it's deeper than that. Maybe you're too harsh on yourself. I mean you're completely void of happiness? Investing in a shrink might be better if that's the case, 5'8 is average height so it's hard to see how that alone can affect you that much...
You are 19 years old.

 You know nothing about life and what is holding you back and what's not. You still have teen insecurities. Start living. If you will still feel small by mid 20's do LL if not then dont do.

 Not attacking you... But dont waste your time on here because of stupid teen insecurities.... Especially being 5'8...
I think it's about my height, but I'll make sure of that during the following years. I guess I still have time and changes to come. Thank you both. :)

Koi, answering your question, I plan to lengthen 10 cm, 5 per segment. External tibias in 2021 or 2022.
I also asked you what's your statting height, but you don't need to answer if you don't want to, haha. ;D Do you know what doctor will you be visiting?

Best regards!
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onemorefoot

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #29 on: October 24, 2016, 07:50:18 PM »

Ok, my height is 5 9" and I plan to go with Dr. Franz or Parihar for external tibias.
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Koi

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Re: I'm in one of those days with lack of hope
« Reply #30 on: October 24, 2016, 07:52:06 PM »

Ok, my height is 5 9" and I plan to go with Dr. Franz or Parihar for external tibias.
Nice man, I heard good things about both of them. Best of luck with that!
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