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Author Topic: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body  (Read 5224 times)

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Hendrix

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Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« on: April 01, 2014, 04:15:44 AM »

I don't know. It just makes me depressed. I don't feel like I have some sort of mental disorder. I am just really unhappy with my height and it makes me feel like a kid. It has really interfered with my life, I feel like I can't go to places by myself and do thinks adults do and I still can't even drive and I'm 18 years old. I feel like I will never be unhappy as long as I am this short (5'7). The thing is I know it isn't something deeply rooted in my childhood or other things to cause me to feel this way, it literally is JUST MY HEIGHT. I just feel so inferior in society being short and girls always overlook me and guys do not take me seriously. Be confident is a load of bull, people care about height. Why else would a girl say ,"I would date you only if you were taller." Confidence has nothing to do with it A LOT of the times. I don't want to say all the time because it does help, it sucks though feeling like you have something holding you back in life constantly to be the person that you want to be.

*drops the mic*
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KiloKAHN

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2014, 04:25:01 AM »

At 5'5 I know what you're talking about. Do you do any weight training or self defense classes? I found that although I still get dissed over my height, working on my physique at least made it so people treated with more respect than when I had an average body, and people complimenting me on that aspect of my body helped lessen the blow during the times where my height has held me back. Although I still realize that height is something that people care about no matter other good qualities one may carry.

When did you start researching ways to become taller and find out about limb lengthening?

LL Forum is a good support group for people who struggle with the same issues in addition to the information about CLL, so feel free to continue to post even if it's just to let things out.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 04:28:31 AM by Kilokahn »
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Initial height: 164 cm / ~5'5" (Surgery on 6/25/2014)
Current height: 170 cm / 5'7" (Frames removed 6/29/2015)
External Tibia lengthening performed by Dr Mangal Parihar in Mumbai, India.
My Cosmetic Leg Lengthening Experience

Hendrix

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2014, 07:06:09 AM »

Wow, just now realizing the grammar mistakes in my post. Obviously meant to say "I will never be happy". What I mean by that is "truly happy". I don't think I will ever come to terms with my height unless I get taller and it will just be that thorn in my life that is constantly holding me back.

Thank you for your reply Kilokahn. I found out about lengthening when I was 16 but after like half a year realized I was no way in a position to get the surgery. Nowadays though, I think there will be an opportunity to ask my parents for a loan for surgery with Dr. Paley. Honestly, I would rather be in 100,000 dollars of debt than be short. That's kind of how effed up the situation is for me in my head. I know it may sound vain, but that's just how I feel. Although I do think when I get taller, I will not feel depressed anymore and will take SO many things for granted. It will translate into my personality so much and I think make me a better person. It won't fix all my problems, but it will give me that little extra bit of confidence I need to be that much closer to living to my true potential, if ya know what I mean?

Well I don't weight train but I do exercise. I'm not buff or anything but I am around 135 pounds and skinny with a small amount of lean muscle.
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thetallerman

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2014, 10:03:58 AM »

I don't know. It just makes me depressed. I don't feel like I have some sort of mental disorder. I am just really unhappy with my height and it makes me feel like a kid. It has really interfered with my life, I feel like I can't go to places by myself and do thinks adults do and I still can't even drive and I'm 18 years old. I feel like I will never be unhappy as long as I am this short (5'7). The thing is I know it isn't something deeply rooted in my childhood or other things to cause me to feel this way, it literally is JUST MY HEIGHT. I just feel so inferior in society being short and girls always overlook me and guys do not take me seriously. Be confident is a load of bull, people care about height. Why else would a girl say ,"I would date you only if you were taller." Confidence has nothing to do with it A LOT of the times. I don't want to say all the time because it does help, it sucks though feeling like you have something holding you back in life constantly to be the person that you want to be.

*drops the mic*

I'm your exact same height (5'7) and I know how you feel, feeling overlooked, like you have to talk super loud in order to get attention or whatever, while the tall person just soaks up the attention and girls find whatever the tall person says and does funny even if it's ridiculuously stupid while you look like a tryhard fool as the short guy, I know how you feel. Have you considered buying elevator shoes or lifts to get you to at least 5'9/5'9.5, until you get the surgery?? I'm wearing lifts every day and my friends and family truly believe I had a late growth spurt, I'm 23. When I finally get this surgery, hopefully next year, I'll try and get myself to 5'9.5 or 5'10 max and ditch the lifts and go on with my life.

You and I are very fortunate to be at least 5'7, there are plenty of people on this forum that will only be our height after 1 surgery, so don't feel too bad.

Go to a salsa club sometime with a large percentage of latin/mexican dancers, their average height is way lower and I feel totally average at 5'7 and sometimes slightly above, a nice feeling :)
« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 10:10:14 AM by thetallerman »
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Current Height: 5'7 (~170cm)
Desired Height: 5'9.5 or 5'10
Wingspan: 179.7cm / 5'10.75

Average US Male Height: 176.5 / 5'9.5 (CDC report)

thetallerman

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #4 on: April 01, 2014, 10:07:56 AM »

Accidental double post...
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Current Height: 5'7 (~170cm)
Desired Height: 5'9.5 or 5'10
Wingspan: 179.7cm / 5'10.75

Average US Male Height: 176.5 / 5'9.5 (CDC report)

Hendrix

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #5 on: April 01, 2014, 11:46:02 AM »

Another grammar mistake. Meant to say I will NOT take things for granted. Feeling like a straight up tard right now.

I'm your exact same height (5'7) and I know how you feel, feeling overlooked, like you have to talk super loud in order to get attention or whatever, while the tall person just soaks up the attention and girls find whatever the tall person says and does funny even if it's ridiculuously stupid while you look like a tryhard fool as the short guy, I know how you feel. Have you considered buying elevator shoes or lifts to get you to at least 5'9/5'9.5, until you get the surgery?? I'm wearing lifts every day and my friends and family truly believe I had a late growth spurt, I'm 23. When I finally get this surgery, hopefully next year, I'll try and get myself to 5'9.5 or 5'10 max and ditch the lifts and go on with my life.

You and I are very fortunate to be at least 5'7, there are plenty of people on this forum that will only be our height after 1 surgery, so don't feel too bad.

Go to a salsa club sometime with a large percentage of latin/mexican dancers, their average height is way lower and I feel totally average at 5'7 and sometimes slightly above, a nice feeling :)

I agree, 5'7 is not that bad but anything below average is really doesn't cut it for me. I think if you are average height at least other things come into play like looks and personality more but some girls will straight up rule you out because you are short. Actually a lot will, especially if they can because they are also attractive and have options.

I tried the whole lift things and whenever I do occasionally go outside (which is rare because I suffer from depression as well) I wear the lifts but I feel like they might eff up my legs. Like it hurts to walk for a few days after I wear them and they make me stand weird. I don't want to mess up my legs even more before getting the surgery so I am trying to wear them not as much.

Hahaha, and that last part, well I actually live in an area with a lot of mexicans and all of them tend to be at least 5'9-5'10. I don't know what the heck it is, everybody in America regardless of race is tall nowadays. Even asians seem to be at least 5'9.
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TRS

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #6 on: April 01, 2014, 03:00:23 PM »

I tried the whole lift things and whenever I do occasionally go outside (which is rare because I suffer from depression as well) I wear the lifts but I feel like they might eff up my legs. Like it hurts to walk for a few days after I wear them and they make me stand weird. I don't want to mess up my legs even more before getting the surgery so I am trying to wear them not as much.

Hey Hendrix! Just wondering if you have depression in general or is it mainly related to your height? If it is height related (height neurosis) then LL may very well be the solution. If it's general, then I believe that LL will exacerbate your depression. It would be wise to get that checked out and sorted by a doctor before doing LL. I rarely go outside too these days but this is due to my height neurosis and wearing lifts hurts alot!   
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BilateralDamage

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #7 on: April 01, 2014, 03:13:31 PM »

I love seeing threads like these (not that I'm happy you're going through problems) but it's something we can all resonate with.  You've described what goes through my head daily.
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Shortie

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #8 on: April 01, 2014, 06:04:33 PM »

I am same as you 5'7 , I always hear from hot girls you are cute etc I never hear that I am hot every one now days over 5'7 not only here in the states , I moved to the states when I was 18 from Egypt I visited Egypt this year and I was chocked when I saw my 14 years old brother stand at 5'11 not only him all my cousins too none of them under 5'10 even one of them his parents short he stand at 6'2 , even the Mexican who are born here most of them tall .
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thetallerman

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2014, 06:20:51 PM »

That's weird, I'm in the US and most of the mexicans I see are between 5'5 to 5'8, and I live in San Diego where there's a large portion of mexicans, maybe you mean the 2nd and 3rd generation ones that have had access to better food etc, I just don't see how 5'9/5'10 is average for them, since when I get myself to even just 5'9 I usually tower 90%+ of them.

Also average Asian which is not very specific: Indians, Chinese, Japanese, Koreans and many more are too broad to classify in a single height group, but for Indians average seems around 5'5-5/7, Chinese 5'6-5'9, Koreans seem to be the taller ones, however due to population amounts you're probably more likely to see indian and Chinese and they generally don't seem that tall toe, yes they have the occasional tall guy but I honestly think you are not judging height well. Realize that your eyes are around 4 inches down from the top of your head so even people your exact height will seem taller than you, you need to compare yourself to them in a mirror.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2014, 06:33:31 PM by thetallerman »
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Current Height: 5'7 (~170cm)
Desired Height: 5'9.5 or 5'10
Wingspan: 179.7cm / 5'10.75

Average US Male Height: 176.5 / 5'9.5 (CDC report)

Hendrix

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #10 on: April 01, 2014, 08:42:34 PM »

Hey Hendrix! Just wondering if you have depression in general or is it mainly related to your height? If it is height related (height neurosis) then LL may very well be the solution. If it's general, then I believe that LL will exacerbate your depression. It would be wise to get that checked out and sorted by a doctor before doing LL. I rarely go outside too these days but this is due to my height neurosis and wearing lifts hurts alot!   

The funny thing is, I actually don't go out much nowadays HUGELY because I don't think I can feel comfortable (mentally) without wearing shoe lifts but they make me feel stupid so I'd rather just avoid going out all together. One of the reasons I don't hang out with my friends is because I am constantly worrying about whether they will find out I am wearing lifts or that they already know and I am just being naive in thinking I could fool people.

I know if I was taller I would go out way more no doubt. I am not one to just find another thing to be depressed about after I fix one problem. I am actually a pretty positive person aside from my height.
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ChrisIsaak

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #11 on: April 01, 2014, 10:39:04 PM »

Hendrix,

I totally understand how you feel, I've been there myself. At 5'5 in the US, I didn't feel like a man. Now, after LL, and almost at 5'8, I know that I won't care if I'm still the shortest guy in the room/club/wherever. LL has changed my mental attitude, the way I look at things. I finally feel like myself now, after so many years I occupy a body I truly belong into. Why am I telling this to you? Firstly, I believe you when you say that you're a positive person other than your height and if you were taller, everything would be okay with your life. That's true - after LL, everything is now okay with my life, regardless of what my final height is. It's the "going through" part, and not really the "added centimeters" that makes you content and satisfied at last. However, I made a mistake when I was at your age (I'm 23 now). I let myself worry about height 24/7, I read forums every day, didn't want to go to classes or go outside at night, and although I occasionally did, everything went bad after a few drinks - me going back home or to the dorm alone, depressed at my height, feeling sorry for myself. First of all, you need to try to fix this attitude before LL. I know it's easier said than done, but imagine LL didn't exist. You do find a sense of community and support in internet forums but I wish I hung out less in forums and more with friends when I was at your age and in college. You have two choices, either you can get LL immediately if you're working or if you can convince your parents to help you out (if there is such an availability), or you should try to stop worrying about your height until you're finally able to do LL. I wish I didn't waste my years when I was 18. Please don't do the same thing to yourself and go outside, try to enjoy life as best as you can.

By the way, what do you mean by "I still can't drive"? Come on man, that's completely unrelated to your height. You can learn how to drive anytime. And did you mean "Feeling like a MAN trapped in a child's body"? Because that makes more sense, lol. You're a man, feel like one! Go to the gym, try working out, it will do wonders for your psychology!
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Hendrix

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Re: Feeling like a child trapped in a man's body
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2014, 12:46:43 AM »

Hendrix,

I totally understand how you feel, I've been there myself. At 5'5 in the US, I didn't feel like a man. Now, after LL, and almost at 5'8, I know that I won't care if I'm still the shortest guy in the room/club/wherever. LL has changed my mental attitude, the way I look at things. I finally feel like myself now, after so many years I occupy a body I truly belong into. Why am I telling this to you? Firstly, I believe you when you say that you're a positive person other than your height and if you were taller, everything would be okay with your life. That's true - after LL, everything is now okay with my life, regardless of what my final height is. It's the "going through" part, and not really the "added centimeters" that makes you content and satisfied at last. However, I made a mistake when I was at your age (I'm 23 now). I let myself worry about height 24/7, I read forums every day, didn't want to go to classes or go outside at night, and although I occasionally did, everything went bad after a few drinks - me going back home or to the dorm alone, depressed at my height, feeling sorry for myself. First of all, you need to try to fix this attitude before LL. I know it's easier said than done, but imagine LL didn't exist. You do find a sense of community and support in internet forums but I wish I hung out less in forums and more with friends when I was at your age and in college. You have two choices, either you can get LL immediately if you're working or if you can convince your parents to help you out (if there is such an availability), or you should try to stop worrying about your height until you're finally able to do LL. I wish I didn't waste my years when I was 18. Please don't do the same thing to yourself and go outside, try to enjoy life as best as you can.

By the way, what do you mean by "I still can't drive"? Come on man, that's completely unrelated to your height. You can learn how to drive anytime. And did you mean "Feeling like a MAN trapped in a child's body"? Because that makes more sense, lol. You're a man, feel like one! Go to the gym, try working out, it will do wonders for your psychology!

Dude you are so right. I actually did finally realize I wasn't enjoying my life but the thing is, it is hard just to forget about my height and enjoy life. For example, I was chatting to this girl online and we were hitting it off and we had SO much in common. Like it was ridiculous how much we had in common. She was also very attractive, I mean like 10/10 but also with a really kind personality, not full of herself. Then after a few months she randomly asks me "I know this may seem like a weird question,  but how tall are you". My heart sunk. I told her the truth and her interest slowly faded away. I can't help but feel unsatisfied with my height. Plus I'm afraid it will make a bitter person and I don't want to be that. So when I go outside to "try" and enjoy life without having LL already, it is hard to truly just forget about although you are in no doubt right that it is a waste a time to constantly stressing about height.

Here is where the guitar comes in. I have been learning the guitar for 8 months on and off and got a teacher within the last month. I have been devoting my time to this instead of focusing on my hardships and now I am starting to feel a lot better. I am actually getting pretty good and enjoying it but I doubt I would ever play in front of people or for people. I'm too shy.

Haha, and you are right, I know my height has nothing to do with driving. It's just that I go to school online and have never really had to driver before or take a driving test. It was optional, it has nothing to do with my height but it further contributes to me feeling like a child. When I say child trapped in a man's body I mean like I feel like a child "mentally". Like outside I am 18 to people, but in my head I am like 14 years old. I mean I know 18 is still young but I just feel a lot less mature than I feel I should be.
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