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Author Topic: The attractiveness dichotomy: men like tall women, yet the opposite is not true  (Read 3403 times)

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MoveUp

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I am a Googler addict... I often Google celebrities and their spouses and notice that many male athletes, musicians, and celbs who are of average height or tall go for tall women (5' 8" and up).

 
If height implies protection, attractiveness, and manliness to a woman, why shouldn't short and petite imply femininity to a man? It is bizarre to me that many men don't care about height and even prefer tall girls in many cases, when you would think that sexual dichotomy would be desirable on both ends...

I prefer the petite type btw. Just wondering if anyone has a theory about this or gave it any though.
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IwannaBeTaller

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Most men don't prefer tall girls, most men want their partner to be shorter than themselves. It's true that women care more about height than men when it comes to choosing a partner. However, it's not true that most men don't care about height or prefer taller women.

This study showed that only 4% of women could accept being with a shorter guy while 24% of men could accept being with a taller women. So 76% of men also care about height when it comes to partners.

Still, women seem to care more. Why is that? Perhaps there are biological reasons, and female sxxuality is less diverse than men's. Perhaps there are cultural reasons, perhaps both factors play a role. Perhaps men care more about a woman's body shape than her height (hips, breasts, ass). We don't know for sure.
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myloginacct

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Most of this thread is going to be anecdotal evidence, anecdotal discussion and shoddy studies.

What is true is that men generally prefer partners who are shorter, even if just a little bit, and that men also care less if women are taller than them. A good chunk does prefer taller/tall women, while the opposite is not very true with women and men shorter than themselves. Which is not say there are no women who wouldn't date or marry shorter guys. I personally know 3 examples in my life of stable relationships where the man is shorter.

In any case, life is easier if you think of people as the individuals they are instead of assuming anecdotes about large swathes of people to be invariably true in their statistics.
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IwannaBeTaller

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^ That's why I posted an actual study that is not just anecdotal evidence.
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myloginacct

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^ That's why I posted an actual study that is not just anecdotal evidence.

There are many of those types of studies. This one has a low sample size and paints one of grimmest pictures I've seen by any of them. I'm all for facing a harsh reality of life head-on, but this one doesn't reflect what I see. Then again, it could be that American women are that much of size queens. The American friends here would have to tell me.

Even the studies I've seen that relied on bots extracting data from thousands of online dating profiles (where people can be pickier) provided a cheerier picture:

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CaptainAmerica

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Lol who likes tall women? Their skulls and upper bodies look manly AF... after 5’5 women start looking a bit weird IMO, and they’re usually way less estrogenic, but maybe I’d feel differently if I was taller.

I think it’s the same for men, to be fair. Below 5’5 and their shoulders are too small and skulls are not long enough to appear that dimorphic.

I think men go for women who are the most dimorphic and feminine, so small pretty faces, thin body, wide hips/small waist, etc...

I’ve never heard any guys talk about liking taller women, more common is guys who like the estrogenic bombshell girls who are like 5’1 5’2 with curvy features.
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Knik

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that's bs, I see a lot of couples where the girl is slighty taller than her boyfriend. But rarely more than 5 cm
Modelling influenced a lot height perception since most models are about 5'9+
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There is indeed a prominent tall preference for both se xes, but there isn't one for short men. There is a dwarf fetish, but we're too tall for that!

And indeed, women want taller men more than men want shorter women, and the desired height difference is much higher for women. The preference (not saying requirement) is strong.

Logically we know that height means less now, that our bank account and confidence are what protect us from harm in the new reality. But it's hard to shake centuries of conditioning, not to mention we respect and revere tall authoritative figures starting at a young age. That association is hard to shake.

Also, perhaps it's just bias on your part. You have a belief, and therefore you start to see a pattern (we're all victims of this). Lastly, don't forget that many celebrity couple photos are at events, and therefore the women are wearing stiletto heels.



Just saw the chart as I was about to post. Honestly those numbers look discouraging from my point of view, this is definitely how it felt using online dating: less than 10% chance of interaction (because they have to be interested in your other qualities too, and distance is a big factor). It makes sense that people of above-average height will compromise and consider shorter people, since selection pool is smaller. It's like a short man looking to date a shorter woman, it's a very small group to pick from (at least it was at my height, which is coincidentally the average for an American woman). I too had to raise my height preference since I ran out of people to look through.

What's tough is that there's a lot of competition at my height, so you have to make it up with a great profile. Swiping apps like Tinder were useless for me. I've had a handful of dates in the past year, mostly non-white Americans ranging 5'1" to 5'3", so it's totally doable. Just a bit tougher!
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myloginacct

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that's bs, I see a lot of couples where the girl is slighty taller than her boyfriend. But rarely more than 5 cm
Modelling influenced a lot height perception since most models are about 5'9+

My cousin is 5'9 and married to a 6 feet woman, and not in a country where she didn't have the option of taller men.

Different types of people are different. His wife is someone who does not place the most weight on appearance. She was also already older when they married. A lot of these studies would look differently if they interviewed enough 30yo+ women.

As for myself, I have my preferences in appearance, just like anyone else, but I'd never reject someone based solely on their height. I prefer shorter than myself, but I wouldn't reject taller - no matter how tall.
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Knik

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Western women have a lot of contradictory criteria. But finally their criteria become more realistic. They realize that 6'5 men are rarely beautiful, but 6'1 stay the most sides
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Knik

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My cousin is 5'9 and married to a 6 feet woman, and not in a country where she didn't have the option of taller men.

Different types of people are different. His wife is someone who does not place the most weight on appearance. She was also already older when they married. A lot of these studies would look differently if they interviewed enough 30yo+ women.

As for myself, I have my preferences in appearance, just like anyone else, but I'd never reject someone based solely on their height. I prefer shorter than myself, but I wouldn't reject taller - no matter how tall.

6ft for a woman starts to be a bit too much. The few 6ft women I have seen were closer to the rhinoceros than to a model
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ivan

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From my personal experience taller woman are more open-minded towards dating shorter man. That's why it's not unusual to see 5'11" woman to date 5'8"-5'10" guy or 5'8" girl even shorter man. Shorter girls desire taller guys, because subconsciously they seek taller offspring. I have a 5'9"cousin and her bf is noticeably shorter.

The main reason why so many famous men are dating taller women is because they are confident. When they are rich and famous height is only a minor flaw.
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ivan

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Sorry, double post :(
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myloginacct

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Just saw the chart as I was about to post. Honestly those numbers look discouraging from my point of view, this is definitely how it felt using online dating: less than 10% chance of interaction (because they have to be interested in your other qualities too, and distance is a big factor). It makes sense that people of above-average height will compromise and consider shorter people, since selection pool is smaller. It's like a short man looking to date a shorter woman, it's a very small group to pick from (at least it was at my height, which is coincidentally the average for an American woman). I too had to raise my height preference since I ran out of people to look through.

What's tough is that there's a lot of competition at my height, so you have to make it up with a great profile. Swiping apps like Tinder were useless for me. I've had a handful of dates in the past year, mostly non-white Americans ranging 5'1" to 5'3", so it's totally doable. Just a bit tougher!

You have to realize that chart is from online dating and a lot of young women with very unrealistic standards.

The numbers there are still better than:
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But a whopping 89 percent of women said the shortest person they would date would still have to be taller than them. Only seven percent would accept someone who was their height, and just four percent would allow for a shorter guy.

As in the first study posted. Those are ridiculous numbers.

Also, don't think I didn't notice the way you worked around those censors/word filters. You're one sly mofo.
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myloginacct

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From my personal experience taller woman are more open-minded towards dating shorter man. That's why it's not unusual to see 5'11" woman to date 5'8"-5'10" guy or 5'8" girl even shorter man. Shorter girls desire taller guys, because subconsciously they seek taller offspring. I have a 5'9"cousin and her bf is noticeably shorter.

The main reason why so many famous men are dating taller women is because they are confident. When they are rich and famous height is only a minor flaw.

This is why I think some of the very short guys here should try going for the tallest women they can find. I know the fear of ridicule and rejection is a strong one, but it'd even balance out the height in their children!

They could maybe even find someone like my cousin did. He's not rich or good-looking by any means (quite the contrary), so I also don't want to hear from other people here that she was settling down for him due to things like that.
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Android

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Phew, what's with the hate for tall women? Reminds me of spiteful women on Twitter saying that short men shouldn't exist.

Realistic anecdotes by myloginacct and ivan, I've observed similar; confidence is key. And yes, age makes a huge contribution as well; the older we get, the more importance we place on companionship above physical attraction. Men are quite notorious for their youth preference too (which I'm guilty of):

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The median 31 year-old guy, for example, sets his allowable match age range from 22 to 35 — nine years younger, but only four years older, than himself. This skewed mindset worsens with age; the median 42 year-old will accept a woman up to fifteen years younger, but no more than three years older.

On the flip side, women in their early 20s want nothing to do with a younger guy. There are just so many factors.

I agree myloginacct, guess we just need more data. Hopefully Justin Bieber has helped to lower height requirements! And yep, I'm very sneaky.
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myloginacct

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Phew, what's with the hate for tall women? Reminds me of spiteful women on Twitter saying that short men shouldn't exist.

Realistic anecdotes by myloginacct and ivan, I've observed similar; confidence is key. And yes, age makes a huge contribution as well; the older we get, the more importance we place on companionship above physical attraction. Men are quite notorious for their youth preference too (which I'm guilty of):

On the flip side, women in their early 20s want nothing to do with a younger guy. There are just so many factors.

I agree myloginacct, guess we just need more data. Hopefully Justin Bieber has helped to lower height requirements!

Yes, there is a lot of hypocrisy here. Many talk about women as objects to be had, want only the best looking ones, greatly prefer only the petite ones... You know, literally all of the things that get a lot here hurt and indignant when they hear it being done in reverse: the women who prefer only the tall guys, only want anything to do with the good looking ones, and think of men as their cash banks.

As for your other point, even in the chart I posted 45% of American women would choose equal or smaller at 5'9 (52% for non-American). And I'm assuming a 5'9 male is not a problem for the heights under that. So you could even call that the Justin Bieber threshold if you want. Jk.
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CaptainAmerica

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Okay, so you are getting limb lengthening surgery to be a nice friendly, "confident" guy and date a fat 30+ year old mom? Lmao good move. This is the real world. People have preferences. There is no tall woman hate. If a tall woman asked me on a date I'd give her a chance, but she wouldn't be my first choice. If a short man asked for a date, you'd see this:


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myloginacct

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Okay, so you are getting limb lengthening surgery to be a nice friendly, "confident" guy and date a fat 30+ year old mom? Lmao good move. This is the real world. People have preferences. There is no tall woman hate. If a tall woman asked me on a date I'd give her a chance, but she wouldn't be my first choice. If a short man asked for a date, you'd see this:



Biased sample of one.

Not everyone in this world is a shxthead, no matter the gender.
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Android

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Okay, so you are getting limb lengthening surgery to be a nice guy and date a fat 30+ year old mom? Lol good move. This is the real world. People have preferences. There is no tall woman hate. If a tall woman asked me on a date I'd give her a chance, but she wouldn't be my first choice. If a short man asked for a date, you'd see this:

You sound somewhat reasonable this time around (at least imaginary tall girl's getting a chance, much like how short guys get a chance); I guess it was hyperbole before. Night and day over "who likes tall women" (suggesting all men feel this way), so that's good to hear. And yes, we have preferences and that's fine (like you said, it may even change once you're taller); the language just seemed a bit restrictive before.

The Twitter screenshot, yes, exact aggregator account I was referencing. Your earlier comment reminded me of it.
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Knik

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Okay, so you are getting limb lengthening surgery to be a nice friendly, "confident" guy and date a fat 30+ year old mom? Lmao good move. This is the real world. People have preferences. There is no tall woman hate. If a tall woman asked me on a date I'd give her a chance, but she wouldn't be my first choice. If a short man asked for a date, you'd see this:




that's really the kind of women you want ? that's typically a Saxon behaviour
you could find the same tweets about short / tall women
going to that kind of twitter profils ("exposing heightism") is like sadomasochism, you have to be stupid to do that while IRL people are clearly different
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CaptainAmerica

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Biased sample of one.

Not everyone in this world is a shxthead, no matter the gender.

Wake up and smell the coffee man. There are thousands of tweets like this, and this is how society in general views short men. These minority opinions aren't minority opinions, everyone has them underlying but only a few women are vocal and cray enough to voice them. There is no other reason why shorter men are paid less, why they commit suicide twice as much, oh wait I know you probably don't accept those statistics because those short guys weren't  "confident and charismatic." I've said it before and I've said it again, people view short men as Danny Devitos/jokes basically and that's why we're here getting LL, I don't care about being tall, I'd just like to be seen NORMALLY.
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Knik

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Wake up and smell the coffee man. There are thousands of tweets like this, and this is how society in general views short men. These minority opinions aren't minority opinions, everyone has them underlying but only a few women are vocal and cray enough to voice them. There is no other reason why shorter men are paid less, why they commit suicide twice as much, oh wait I know you probably don't accept those statistics because those short guys weren't  "confident and charismatic." I've said it before and I've said it again, people view short men as Danny Devitos/jokes basically and that's why we're here getting LL, I don't care about being tall, I'd just like to be seen NORMALLY.


"twitter"
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CaptainAmerica

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that's really the kind of women you want ? that's typically a Saxon behaviour
you could find the same tweets about short / tall women
going to that kind of twitter profils ("exposing heightism") is like sadomasochism, you have to be stupid to do that while IRL people are clearly different

It's not 1400, there is no "Saxon" behavior, this is how modern privileged women with no restrictions or limits on their life behave in the first world.  It just so happens unfortunately that they also usually happen to be the most attractive.

Also, no, people in real life are not different. It's just like racism, sxxism, every other -ism. They all still exist in great quantities, but people are afraid to talk about them now because they don't want to lose their jobs. What people feel, say, and tell each other behind closed doors is different than what they portray to the world.

Mostly because these are biological problems. You can change what someone says, but you will never, EVER, EVER change what they biologically feel. Women will never find short men attractive, men will never be interested in trannies, people of different races will never see each other the same or experience as much empathy as they naturally do for same race individuals, it's just reality. You can not fight biology with "being nice" kum ba ya propaganda. Biology will override the pleasantries eventually, and someone will get hurt.
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MoveUp

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Wow, wasn't expecting so many comments. Nice points raised, seems like I'm not crazy that tall women are less attractive, and someone made a point about the pictures being taken at events often have the women in 4" heels.

Still, I feel that many famous men date tall women, but this is probably for vanity that there is something about a tall woman, maybe even more than a tall man that sticks out, even though the general population of men prefer short or at least shorter and petite women with small waist, narrow shoulders, gentile voice...

Anyway, I think what women say and do are often different and most won't follow the requirement chart posted in real life interactions.

I have also googled for short men fetish or sites for women looking for short men, but these don't exist. For some odd reason, there might be an exception for dwarf men.
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Knik

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It's not 1400, there is no "Saxon" behavior, this is how modern privileged women with no restrictions or limits on their life behave in the first world.  It just so happens unfortunately that they also usually happen to be the most attractive.

Also, no, people in real life are not different. It's just like racism, sxxism, every other -ism. They all still exist in great quantities, but people are afraid to talk about them now because they don't want to lose their jobs. What people feel, say, and tell each other behind closed doors is different than what they portray to the world.

Mostly because these are biological problems. You can change what someone says, but you will never, EVER, EVER change what they biologically feel. Women will never find short men attractive, men will never be interested in trannies, people of different races will never see each other the same or experience as much empathy as they naturally do for same race individuals, it's just reality. You can not fight biology with "being nice" kum ba ya propaganda. Biology will override the pleasantries eventually, and someone will get hurt.

where you from ?
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Knik

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Wow, wasn't expecting so many comments. Nice points raised, seems like I'm not crazy that tall women are less attractive, and someone made a point about the pictures being taken at events often have the women in 4" heels.

Still, I feel that many famous men date tall women, but this is probably for vanity that there is something about a tall woman, maybe even more than a tall man that sticks out, even though the general population of men prefer short or at least shorter and petite women with small waist, narrow shoulders, gentile voice...

Anyway, I think what women say and do are often different and most won't follow the requirement chart posted in real life interactions.

I have also googled for short men fetish or sites for women looking for short men, but these don't exist. For some odd reason, there might be an exception for dwarf men.


what you consider tall is about 5-7/5-11 ? because after 6ft it's not really the case
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Cap: there's the fact that younger people say more stupid things to get attention, so there's that. We tend to be harsher toward people we don't understand as well, and usually it's from insecurity; maybe she's using short men as an excuse for not attracting the right kind of men.

I do believe that most people are sensible, and that people like the girl in the tweet are just a loud minority (still echoing today...). For instance women may turn down a short guy because she prefers a taller guy, but most won't resent short guys. I'm sure that men who prefer prettier and skinnier women don't necessarily hate unattractive or overweight women. It's just "no thanks, not my type" and move on.

MoveUp: no kidding, it's getting warm in here!
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MoveUp

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what you consider tall is about 5-7/5-11 ? because after 6ft it's not really the case

Exactly, 6ft is very rare and that's entering freakishly tall
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CaptainAmerica

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Cap: there's the fact that younger people say more stupid things to get attention, so there's that. We tend to be harsher toward people we don't understand as well, and usually it's from insecurity; maybe she's using short men as an excuse for not attracting the right kind of men.

I do believe that most people are sensible, and that people like the girl in the tweet are just a loud minority (still echoing today...). For instance women may turn down a short guy because she prefers a taller guy, but most won't resent short guys. I'm sure that men who prefer prettier and skinnier women don't necessarily hate unattractive or overweight women. It's just "no thanks, not my type" and move on.

MoveUp: no kidding, it's getting warm in here!

IMO, women are irritated by the existence and presence of short men in the same way men are irritated by fat women. It’s not only indifference but resentment and annoyance.
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Knik

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IMO, women are irritated by the existence and presence of short men in the same way men are irritated by fat women. It’s not only indifference but resentment and annoyance.

definitively stupid
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