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Author Topic: Can it even possible to do this privately?  (Read 722 times)

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boeing366.5

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Can it even possible to do this privately?
« on: February 06, 2020, 02:43:22 PM »

Hello all.

Unless you are very young [maybe below 20] you cannot hide having done LL from close friends and family.

Both my brothers are EXACTLY my height. There is no way at 28 I can grow  2 inches and not have them notice.

Especially since my family knows about LL plan, if I am 2 inch taller, then 200% certainty that my brothers and family will know.

The worst part is this. If I get married, I will have to tell the wife about LL. It would be very hard to start a family with someone (and keeping that someone in the dark about my LL) when my brothers and parents know I have done LL. My oldest brother has already told his wife about my LL idea. I felt very betrayed. Now how on earth will my sis-in-law and my wife not talk? And once my wife or gf finds out then it's as good as the secret being out there. She will tell her friends, her family and it is great gossip material.

And LL is very misunderstood and frowned down on in society right now. 

I am starting to believe if you are not thick skinned to ignore people who talk about your LL, then LL is not for you! Because it is impossible to do LL in complete privacy unless you do it all alone without telling anyone like a hermit.

Doing LL all alone is also very hard! You have to mentally strong to endure it

Agree or disagree?
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TheAlchemist

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #1 on: February 06, 2020, 03:16:18 PM »

Long term game plan. Wear lifts leading up to your operation.

Gradually increase the amount of height per the lifts. Month 1 - 0.5 inch. Month 2 - 1 inch. Month 3 - 1.5 inch. Month 4 - 2 inch.

Stay at 2 inches for about a year.

People will be conditioned to your new height and if you do it gradually you will distort their memory of your height.

As for the surgery itself, you will need as story / excuse to disappear for 6 months.

When you return from your storied dissapearance, get a new haircut. It will distract and distort people's memory of you even more.

If people still catch on, be at peace with the surgery, embrace it as something you did for yourself and no one else, and own it.
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Dr. Paley Patient: Femurs (Stryde) / 8 CM gained
Surgery: Sep 17 2019
Distraction completed: Dec 14 2019
Starting height: 5'9 or 175cm
Ending Height: 6'0 ft or 183 cm

boeing366.5

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2020, 03:30:24 PM »

Dear TheAlchemist.

Your suggestion of lift is good but it cannot work with family. I go to my brother's house to spend a few days and can't wear lifts in his house. same with close friends. lifts are ok only for work. Its easy to fool people at work like this but not anyone who shares personal life.

Even if you stay away from close friends and family for a full year as per the lifts plan, it's impossible to make family forget your old height. Something like height is etched in memory of close family. Especially if same height. I Have spent so much time with my brothers in my early 20s and it's not possible to make them forget it. All the more because I once told them about LL. They will never ever forget it.

I am in agreement with you about making peace with surgery. Starting from your family, people WILL find out. Your best game plan is to live with people who think progressive and are not judgemental.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2020, 07:18:31 PM »

Of course it is.  Get the surgery, chanage your name, cover the scars with tattoos, move far away and start a new life where nobody knew the old, short you.
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Gained 3 inches on tibiae (Ilizarov LON) in 2007 at the Beijing Institute of External Skeletal Fixation Technology with Prof. Hetao Xia and Dr. Aiming Peng.

If you have any questions, ask them here rather than by Private Message:
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64544

TheAlchemist

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2020, 08:17:05 PM »

Dear TheAlchemist.

Your suggestion of lift is good but it cannot work with family. I go to my brother's house to spend a few days and can't wear lifts in his house. same with close friends. lifts are ok only for work. Its easy to fool people at work like this but not anyone who shares personal life.

Even if you stay away from close friends and family for a full year as per the lifts plan, it's impossible to make family forget your old height. Something like height is etched in memory of close family. Especially if same height. I Have spent so much time with my brothers in my early 20s and it's not possible to make them forget it. All the more because I once told them about LL. They will never ever forget it.

I am in agreement with you about making peace with surgery. Starting from your family, people WILL find out. Your best game plan is to live with people who think progressive and are not judgemental.

Agreed. My family hasn't seen me yet (I did 8 cm) but I am at peace with them knowing. My family are the only people that will love me unconditionally, so I know in the end they will support and love me regardless. They may not agree with what I did, or even understand it, but it's my life and they respect that.
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Dr. Paley Patient: Femurs (Stryde) / 8 CM gained
Surgery: Sep 17 2019
Distraction completed: Dec 14 2019
Starting height: 5'9 or 175cm
Ending Height: 6'0 ft or 183 cm

5cm Stryde

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2020, 09:52:10 PM »

Hi Boeing 366,

I am also planning a LL of 2inches and even if it is definitively noticeable, I think if the first few times you see your family, you adopt a bad posture, you can also hide the gain and after I think  they will be used to.
Otherwise, you can just tell you made some serious yoga, chiropractor, pilate and it helps to improve your stature.

I understand your concern but to be honest for 5cm, you can find some excuses and even if they don t really trust it, after couple of weeks, they will think about something else. So in my opinion, it should be fine. Especially because LL is not really famous.

And at the end of the day, you should at first do the suegery for youself. This surgery is difficult enough so no need to think of others at this stage.

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BetzLandLiberator

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2020, 11:32:11 PM »

Yes, you can. Most people don't know you can do surgery to get taller. So if they notice something differently in you they will assume is something else (Is he thinner? is he more muscular?)

I only told my dad, stepmother and brother. I didn't tell my sister as we were living in different countries then.
When we met after surgery, she did notice I was taller and asked about it. I said it was probably my new boots, the fact I was thinner and that we hadn't seen each other for a while. She shrugged and that was that.

As for my friends, only one friend noticed (a female friend that was originally taller than me). All the other ones either didn't notice or noticed but thought was something else ("You look so strong!" was a common comment from former girlfriends or hook-ups). And I did 10cm. So if you go for less I'm sure you can get away with it.

Maybe in my case I had some things going in my favor:

1 - I have a 90cm sitting height and very broad shoulders (which is more important than wing span).
2 - Thus I always wore t-shirts, shirts and jackets for people of 1,75cm of height even though I was 165cm.
3 - I had very short femurs in comparison to my height. Stubby legs.
4 - Thus I became actually more proportional after my 10cm.

Maybe a very skinny short guy with narrow shoulders would have a harder time hiding it. I don't know.
But to be honest?

Who cares? It's better to be taller and get away from heightism with a few dozen people noticing than to not do anything about and live the rest of your life in misery.


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boeing366.5

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2020, 01:29:41 AM »

Thank you for the answers. I think I should have made myself clearer:

* Most people don't know about LL UNLESS you tell them you have plans of doing it. This is what I did. I told my brothers and one of my brothers told his wife. I would not be surprised if my brother's wife told her family and her sisters, etc. If you tell NO ONE and do LL you can get away with it because many people don't know about LL. But if you had brought it up before then it's easy to add 2 and 2 and make 4.
* It is one thing to make peace with your close family members knowing you did LL. But it is much harder if your wife to be (or husband to be) finds out. If for some reason she does not like the idea that you did LL and you break up, the secret is well in the open.
* Again imagine my situation: my family (parents, brothers, one brother's wife, and whoever she told) knows about my LL plan. If I get married and we are all sitting and chilling in a family gathering, imagine how it feels like. One person very close to me (my wife) is in the dark but the rest of my family knows. And I am living in fear that some day my wife will find out.
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Montreal172

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2020, 06:07:52 AM »

Dude just say you had a Limb length discrepancy and needed the surgery for medical reasons.
Like slowly bring that idea to your family. Since its medically necessary makes more sense.
You can even wear a lift on one side and show them out of the blue.
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Futureller

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2020, 12:15:40 PM »



Who cares? It's better to be taller and get away from heightism with a few dozen people noticing than to not do anything about and live the rest of your life in misery.

This ^

You are caring WAY too much about what people will think of you getting LL.  Just dont say anything to anyone who doesn't need to know, like people who wouldnt care about you disappearing for a few months.  I told my mother jokingly about the surgery to feel her response then told her I actually want it and she didn't mind at all to my surprise.  She said if it will make me happy do it.  Im not telling anyone else that I don't have to.  My mother said she'll even be my care taker and make up a lie with me if I choose to, which I probably will, since no matter what there are always people out there that will talk   about whatever you do.  So there's really no point walking around in life telling people your secrets. 

Who cares if a couple people find out.  Enjoy the new confidence it will give you and the new people especially women you'll meet with your more confident and taller self. 
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2020, 03:23:26 PM »

People will not believe your lame excuses about gaining 2-3 inches from visiting a chiropractor or changing your posture unless you're the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  Especially if your knees are way higher or lower than a normal person's on the leg.  Frankster didn't tell his family about LL; told them he fell off the Great Wall and that's why he was coming home from China in a wheelchair.  He didn't even need to stand up before they asked him why his knees were so high.

Even if your family doesn't pester you with questions, it doesn't mean they believe you and it doesn't mean they aren't talking about your height increase behind your back.
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Gained 3 inches on tibiae (Ilizarov LON) in 2007 at the Beijing Institute of External Skeletal Fixation Technology with Prof. Hetao Xia and Dr. Aiming Peng.

If you have any questions, ask them here rather than by Private Message:
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64544

short

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2020, 07:12:03 PM »

who cares...
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boeing366.5

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2020, 07:50:16 PM »

Dear Medium Drink Of Water.

What is your personal story in the context of this thread? Did you marry after LL? Did you tell your wife about LL?
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soitchi

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2020, 07:51:35 PM »

who cares...
Facts. They're feeling guilty and stressing out before they even get LL, before they make up lies to hide their insecurity, imagine how stressed out they'll be constantly thinking they'll get found out lol.
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rip edwardv6

slayer of the ll clown

BetzLandLiberator

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2020, 03:26:30 AM »

People will not believe your lame excuses about gaining 2-3 inches from visiting a chiropractor or changing your posture unless you're the Hunchback of Notre Dame.
 
You'd be surprised.

Especially if your knees are way higher or lower than a normal person's on the leg. 
No normal person will pay attention if another person has a higher or lower knee.

Even if your family doesn't pester you with questions, it doesn't mean they believe you and it doesn't mean they aren't talking about your height increase behind your back.
Again...who cares? If they won't say anything to your face and you won't know about it, in practical terms is EXACTLY THE SAME as if they didn't know about it.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2020, 05:11:10 AM »

Did you marry after LL?

No.

Quote
What is your personal story in the context of this thread?

Other than hearing about Frankster's experience with his family, I was at a middle school and a student remarked about how long my shins were.

No normal person will pay attention if another person has a higher or lower knee.
Not usually, but they especially might if they knew you when you were shorter and are trying to figure out what's different about you.

Quote
If they won't say anything to your face and you won't know about it, in practical terms is EXACTLY THE SAME as if they didn't know about it.

Then why care about height?  Don't even get LL if you don't care what people think or say about you.
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Gained 3 inches on tibiae (Ilizarov LON) in 2007 at the Beijing Institute of External Skeletal Fixation Technology with Prof. Hetao Xia and Dr. Aiming Peng.

If you have any questions, ask them here rather than by Private Message:
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64544

boeing366.5

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2020, 06:19:04 AM »

Did LL have a role to play in not getting married @Medium Drink? That is pretty much the very focus on this thread. Getting married is one unique point in life when you become close family with someone not blood related. And if LL is a reason for that person to reject you, your dear secret is out there with a random person you didn't marry. :(
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limewalk

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2020, 07:28:57 AM »

This is a pretty interesting topic. I'm curious how many people who do LL end up getting married. I can think of several positive outcome cases of LL in the forum but where they ended up not choosing to get married.

It's probably best to get married and then do LL after convincing your wife  ;D
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BetzLandLiberator

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2020, 07:55:38 AM »

Then why care about height?  Don't even get LL if you don't care what people think or say about you.

Well, I think the answer for this question shows the difference between people that were REALLY SHORT (like me before LL, 165cm) and had to face actual heightism and people the are average or tall and just have height dysphoria.

My short height NEVER BOTHERED me personally to be honest, but I was constantly treated badly by other people because of it - specially by women - and they would TELL TO MY FACE THAT I WAS TOO SHORT.

It wasn't a imaginary thing of thinking that people are talking behind my back about my height or feeling bad because other guys were taller. If I hadn't faced direct discrimination because of my height (specially from women) I wouldn't have done LL.

I had - in more than one case - beautiful women that would have sxx with me but would refuse to let anyone see us together in public afterwards because they were embarrassed by my height. People would say things to me that would be unacceptable if it was about race, like a fashion model that was a friend of a friend telling me that I was a "half-person" because I was short.

So yeah, I don't care what people think if I don't know about it. But I do care if I am discriminated against, which is what happens when you are a male and below the 5% percentile of height.

But as far as I know, no one is discriminated because "their knee is a little lower".
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short

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2020, 02:57:21 PM »

Well, I think the answer for this question shows the difference between people that were REALLY SHORT (like me before LL, 165cm) and had to face actual heightism and people the are average or tall and just have height dysphoria.

My short height NEVER BOTHERED me personally to be honest, but I was constantly treated badly by other people because of it - specially by women - and they would TELL TO MY FACE THAT I WAS TOO SHORT.

It wasn't a imaginary thing of thinking that people are talking behind my back about my height or feeling bad because other guys were taller. If I hadn't faced direct discrimination because of my height (specially from women) I wouldn't have done LL.

I had - in more than one case - beautiful women that would have sxx with me but would refuse to let anyone see us together in public afterwards because they were embarrassed by my height. People would say things to me that would be unacceptable if it was about race, like a fashion model that was a friend of a friend telling me that I was a "half-person" because I was short.

So yeah, I don't care what people think if I don't know about it. But I do care if I am discriminated against, which is what happens when you are a male and below the 5% percentile of height.

But as far as I know, no one is discriminated because "their knee is a little lower".
this!
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2020, 03:32:26 PM »

Did LL have a role to play in not getting married @Medium Drink? That is pretty much the very focus on this thread. Getting married is one unique point in life when you become close family with someone not blood related. And if LL is a reason for that person to reject you, your dear secret is out there with a random person you didn't marry. :(

No, nothing to do with LL.  I think LL actually might have been helpful in that regard.  Like BetzLandLiberator said, raw height is the most important thing, and most people don't scrutinize proportions much.  Some women wouldn't care if you were tall because of LL, as long as you were tall and had other qualities they valued.  They might even be motivated to keep your secret, although guess what everyone is going to hear about after a divorce unless it's really, really amicable.  :(

LL is not something most people think about, but it's not completely unheard of either.  We're all here because we heard about it at some point and tucked it away in your memories for future use.  If you go away from your family for six months and come back 2-3 inches taller with scars on your legs and really long shins or thights, they'll figure it out.  And it's not black and white either: the less gain and scarring and the better your proportions are, the less likely people will be to suspect LL surgery.
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Gained 3 inches on tibiae (Ilizarov LON) in 2007 at the Beijing Institute of External Skeletal Fixation Technology with Prof. Hetao Xia and Dr. Aiming Peng.

If you have any questions, ask them here rather than by Private Message:
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64544

boeing366.5

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2020, 04:44:06 PM »

Dear Medium Drink of Water

I think you are the only one who has understood what I was trying to ask in this post. You are absolutely right. Imagine you get married and somehow your partner finds out you had LL and you intentionally didn't tell her. Some more things don't work out in the marriage and you both decide to divorce. She's going to tell everyone about your LL as a reason for divorce or maybe even in court. (I'm using "you" as any LL veteran here of course)

Dear BetzLandLiberator

Where are you from? I think you have had bad company. I would not want to even be friends with someone who is ashamed because they were with someone short (or any other physical attribute). Why would they be with someone they are ashamed to be with in the first place?

As for comments made in poor taste, yes there are plenty of people in the world like that, but I Think it's best to weed out such people from your social circles someone who would call anyone "half a person". I would avoid someone like that like I would avoid dog p00p on the sidewalk.

Your reasons to get LL are not something I am arguing about however.

Dear limewalk

Yes I sort of agree with you. The ones who are happily married and are able to convince their wives (or husbands) to support their LL journey are in a much better situation.


I get the feeling that many people who get LL are younger people who have not paid much thought about getting married or older people who have given up on the idea of settling down to start a family and just want to improve themselves. There are however many people who are doing this without being ashamed about it and with family and friends' support : I envy their mindset.
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OverSixFeetTall

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2020, 05:55:27 AM »

Who flippin’ cares what they think or what others think.

Bottom line - Do what makes you happy, you only have one life.

Period.
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Medium Drink Of Water

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Re: Can it even possible to do this privately?
« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2020, 06:07:59 AM »

This is cosmetic surgery.  100% of why to do it is to change what others think of you.
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Gained 3 inches on tibiae (Ilizarov LON) in 2007 at the Beijing Institute of External Skeletal Fixation Technology with Prof. Hetao Xia and Dr. Aiming Peng.

If you have any questions, ask them here rather than by Private Message:
http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64544
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