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[IamAndrew]

What's your story? Ever overcompensate due to stature or physique? I have, but didn't really identify it as the cause until years later.

I had so many bully problems growing up and the problem was compounded by the fact I moved homes/schools 13x before I was an adult. I was always the outsider and perceived as shrimpy post 6th grade. I remember once in a boy's locker room, 7th grade, I almost threw down with some football player because he took my free lunch token. We got in each other's face and he inevitably threw it off to the side and confrontation avoided. Then that same year some 8th grader who hit puberty a lil too early came running up to me during lunchtime out on the field and got me in a headlock. Had no idea who he was or why he was doing that. But he lifted me off the ground with his arms under my shoulders and hands on the back of my neck and swung me. He then dropped me and had the nerve to ask if I were "cool" with it and laughed. I had no friends ofc and always felt like an outcast, so I brushed it off and said sure, sure (I will always hate myself for that). It was soon after that I started to lift and get into shape. I never consciously knew why. And since then a complex developed from that day, building up over the years. I was no longer going to take s**t from anyone. I got into the best shape of my life and I'm pretty sure my unimpressive stature was the cause behind it.

Here's a webcam photo of me 3 years ago (21) when I was in my best shape (lil less now). Nobody bothers me and my wingspan is fit for a much larger guy. I promised myself to fight back until my last breath, against any obstacle and in any form. You're never defeated until you admit it to yourself (Bruce Lee).
http://i1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb480/MeerFantom/Untitled22_zpsd9840a30.jpg

Then I couldn't get a job anywhere after graduating college. I was either overqualified for casual jobs, under-qualified for professional jobs (that required 2+ years interning in some cases when I needed money immediately to live) or I just didn't have the "look" they wanted. In one group interview I was the only one wearing formal attire and gave formal, thorough responses to everything. One tall guy there didn't know what manhole cover was (it came up during our questions) and was dressed like he just came from a pot session. The group interviewers said they would call us all back that day - but I never even got a call back.... I went there weeks later and saw that guy had the job. The rage was seething. I figured well, people might feel awkward around a sharply dressed shorter guy that could literally tear your heart out and has more accolades and skills than the manager. Would I have gotten the job if I were some lanky guy with no ambition to dethrone the manager? I applied for other simple jobs (this was when the job market went to hell) and attended interviews, yet never got ANY chances at all. It was official, my "Napoleon complex" was killing me. It was always the taller, less impressive guys getting the job!!??! WTF? Which made my condition worse. So I stopped trying to play their game. To make a long story short, I created a publishing company and authored several of the first books. It has taken off, slowly but surely, and I could actually live off the passive income. I contracted others now and want to build it into a giant someday, but I feel like I wouldn't have to if I didn't have this "complex". I'm so sad inside, forever alone and facing the world. Also had to learn to temper myself around girls otherwise they would be suffocated by me and recognize I've a massive complex. I have TONS of silver-gray hair at 24, no joke. How are shorter people expected to live longer with so much f**king stress? I would trade everything I've worked for to have been born an average sized guy with a stable, average life. That is the sad truth for me and why CLL is a godsend if I can get to it someday.

Thanks for reading this rant if you did, glad to just get it out. Got some stories to tell? Make me feel better.

[leonidas]

Look on the bright side dude... You got a wingspan of 1.83... You wouldn't look out of place/proportion after surgery.. With the determination you gained from the suffering of ur life plus future newfound height you be unstoppable.

[Wannabegiant]

i can relate to most of what you mentioned Andrew, and i totally understand your view point. My reason for getting LL is very similar to yours if you get down to it.

btw great job on the arms and getting in shape, i tried to bulk up as a way to compensate to and i easily gained muscle in the beginning but i didnt have the willpower to keep it up partly because i had to eat so much (high metabolism) and because i always felt like i would still only be a short bulky guy and probably get less respect than even many of the long lanky dudes.

I also have very long arms and broad shoulders, i havent measured my wingspan yet but im sure its over 180 cm at least. But other than that im naturally i might look a bit skinny because of my very low body fat percentage.

Most of my teen years i had similar experiences with larger dudes in school using me as a way to look cool in comparison, either by wrestling me without my consent or sometimes even throwing punches, but i would always manage to get away before it escalated so i never got seriously hurt. I dont think those guys hated me, they just had their own insecurities and took it out on somebody who was passive and looked like easy pray.

I was also an outcast from early age because i am adopted and look nothing like my parents, while Sweden is multicultural with many immigrants, i stand out because there are very few of people of my origin here. And in school you can easily witness people of the same ethnicity grouping together, latinos stay together, turks stay together, kurds stay together, assyrians, blacks etc.

While i hung out mostly with native swedish people but still didnt fit in completely for obvious reasons, but i didnt meet much racism fortunately, only subtle kinds but that is to be expected.

I eventually as my teen years ended i got used to that people (mostly guys but girls as well on occassion) in subtle ways talked to me with an attitude like i wasnt as good as them, first i thought it might be my ethnicity, and in som cases im sure that was the case, but for the most part i know now that it was my height, and i hang around a lot of tall swedish dudes so its not surprising.

I really feel like the only way i will ever feel like i am on the same level as these people is if i become average height, despite the fact that at this point i already had many other advantages over many of them, wheter it be looks, intelligence, education, humour etc.

Also from my passive persona which i was forced to have when i was younger because i didnt think anybody would take me seriously as a tough guy because of being smaller, i now have a very masculine take no bulls**t persona along with a deep dark voice, and my face which was from the beginning very masculine too since puberty (defined jaw line, thick aggressive eyebrows, small eyes, strong brow ridge, large nose), i think the stress during my teens might have increased my testosterone levels which might explain the fact that i quickly gain muscle despite having low body fat naturally.

So now i had the dilemma with my looks too, i realized that i could never look like a pretty boy (like Bieber or Zach Efron) because of my looks, but at the same time i could never match up to the macho guys like Vin Diesel or Arnold despite me having a face that could easily match their masculinity (well Arnold might be in a league of his own here) , mainly because of my lack of height and lack of muscles (because i never could maintain my training schedule since i felt there was no point since i was short). Of course the latter was what i was striving to be and was much more natural for me in terms of personality.

So i needed height to make myself whole and not look like i was fake.

(keep in mind, my persona might come of as entirely different here on this forum, because in real life i rarely if ever discusses insecurities i have with friends or other people, and i dont really talk much in general unless it is expected of me.

[Moubgf]

i can relate to most of what you mentioned Andrew, and i totally understand your view point. My reason for getting LL is very similar to yours if you get down to it.

btw great job on the arms and getting in shape, i tried to bulk up as a way to compensate to and i easily gained muscle in the beginning but i didnt have the willpower to keep it up partly because i had to eat so much (high metabolism) and because i always felt like i would still only be a short bulky guy and probably get less respect than even many of the long lanky dudes.

I also have very long arms and broad shoulders, i havent measured my wingspan yet but im sure its over 180 cm at least. But other than that im naturally i might look a bit skinny because of my very low body fat percentage.
Most of my teen years i had similar experiences with larger dudes in school using me as a way to look cool in comparison, either by wrestling me without my consent or sometimes even throwing punches, but i would always manage to get away before it escalated so i never got seriously hurt. I dont think those guys hated me, they just had their own insecurities and took it out on somebody who was passive and looked like easy pray.
I was also an outcast from early age because i am adopted and look nothing like my parents, while Sweden is multicultural with many immigrants, i stand out because there are very few of people of my origin here. And in school you can easily witness people of the same ethnicity grouping together, latinos stay together, turks stay together, kurds stay together, assyrians, blacks etc.

While i hung out mostly with native swedish people but still didnt fit in completely for obvious reasons, but i didnt meet much racism fortunately, only subtle kinds but that is to be expected.
I eventually as my teen years ended i got used to that people (mostly guys but girls as well on occassion) in subtle ways talked to me with an attitude like i wasnt as good as them, first i thought it might be my ethnicity, and in som cases im sure that was the case, but for the most part i know now that it was my height, and i hang around a lot of tall swedish dudes so its not surprising.

I really feel like the only way i will ever feel like i am on the same level as these people is if i become average height, despite the fact that at this point i already had many other advantages over many of them, wheter it be looks, intelligence, education, humour etc.

Also from my passive persona which i was forced to have when i was younger because i didnt think anybody would take me seriously as a tough guy because of being smaller, i now have a very masculine take no bulls**t persona along with a deep dark voice, and my face which was from the beginning very masculine too since puberty (defined jaw line, thick aggressive eyebrows, small eyes, strong brow ridge, large nose), i think the stress during my teens might have increased my testosterone levels which might explain the fact that i quickly gain muscle despite having low body fat naturally.

So now i had the dilemma with my looks too, i realized that i could never look like a pretty boy (like Bieber or Zach Efron) because of my looks, but at the same time i could never match up to the macho guys like Vin Diesel or Arnold despite me having a face that could easily match their masculinity (well Arnold might be in a league of his own here) , mainly because of my lack of height and lack of muscles (because i never could maintain my training schedule since i felt there was no point since i was short). Of course the latter was what i was striving to be and was much more natural for me in terms of personality.

So i needed height to make myself whole and not look like i was fake.

(keep in mind, my persona might come of as entirely different here on this forum, because in real life i rarely if ever discusses insecurities i have with friends or other people, and i dont really talk much in general unless it is expected of me.

I would say i got the ideal youth, Grows up with late bloomers until 9th grade, Great times. I think that is the reason i never understood why short guys got "napoleon complexes" or all that "mind set". (I actually thought i was going good and was average in height (Moving into "adult average" But i stopped for some reason). i became more reclusive after 9th grade (with fuked up shool classes and just wtf experiences, friends leaving and seeing them succeed without much effort.), never worked out,Endless sleepless nights because my friend snorked in his sleep when im trying to fall asleep 6 in the morning and we was together likely 4 years trait, so i never really went into deep sleep lol.

Computer chair and pepsi was my diet. I also diet because "hey, you can not be fat so why not live on calori restrikted diet for the 3 years you are growing the most yeh?. K thx brain).

 One instance  when i grew up there was me and my friend and his neighoor a short guy, And i swear he recieved heightism at that age even. And i never objected when others mentioned it "i just nodded like, I don't have it. I have it good right now lifes going great my biggest "issue" my little bit of chubby weight or whatever , You know minor self image stuff.

But yes i think there was this ONE time in the class room i was a hard beta ( i knew everybody and was popular but i lost it more and more 7th grade less 8th grade less 9th grade less, (while trying to save some connections for after school ended, let's just say i failed.)

then trying to fit in and go to the cool parties with the cool guys, and another short guy "popular" because his older sister, cross driving, older friends and associatets that you could need after 9th grade into 15-20 years old experience. I did not get included after all my doggin around like a bish and laughing at their jokes..Nr.1 was my height. Nr.2 i did not really take care of my apperance back then, The same "you" outfit that you normally wore to school was my dress look back then. Nr.3 Their parents was the classic rassist and i actually think they did not like me being there, but i got a few parties out of that place before they "dumped" me. and that country side everybody who looks swedish hangs together and drinks beer and listen to 90's rock n roll swedish "redneck" music.
Anyway the poplular short guy told the bullied short guy one time in the clas room. Well why don't you grow so you can see better/look over the counter so you can hear better.

Everybody in the class room heard it...no one said a word. I looked at the bullied guy he sunk 1 inch into the chair subconciously.

And i wanted to smack this "popular" short guy on his head. But hey as i mentioned before it was a very stressfull and calculated period. And i said nothing..And i could feel this STHCJOMP inside me like a shock. Like my "dna" soul whatever shifted. And did not give me the gift of "height" So i could go through this life and "learn" how it is to be short and what comes with it simply because i did not speak out. It seriously feel that way. Because my mothers side is norwegian and i have that viking greek tanned look. I could play both adonis and a viking If i was taller. Would have looked so cool...Soon.

Yeh, the same with me..i only got "picked" 2-10 instances during school and social events, but they all traumatized my outgoing persona to become more an more introverted i guess. More silent think before you speak kinda guy. I think i had a skew view on myself and the world in general. I thought things wore more random in live action. Like that guy gets picked there, that guy had the luck to score that chick or whatever. But as i grew older you see the same patterns and starts to pick up and recap your life.

Yeh i started to notice this before but i always thought it was me. I always did something wrong, Did not understand social interactions, are my clothes weird. To much energi? to little? Autism maybe? my brain starts going. All my friends are tallish im am literally the shortest person of my age group that i have met during my 20ish years in my town.

And then you see it was your height that got in your way for many things and not overcoming that adolecence view of life and step into adult persona. I still feel teenagish when i think of myself mostly because of my body i guess. When my parents ask me why i don't get a drivers licence..well can i?. Obviously now i have it but it took me a good 2 years to make it click in the brain that "yep, this is it bro, this is your height and your "look" for the rest of your life". Yeah the immigrants did not accept me, they did not object me but they viewed me as a "immigrant swedish" and the swedish population viewed me as "immigrant". So i got rejection from both sources.

Thats why i never took pride in my coutry because what am i? i am a mixture of 2-4 races dropped in a 5th country and am supposed to thrive when neither of the population sub groups looks like me. I don't know i want to fit in the crowd more. I guess i do outside in the street.
But not at social gatherings at someones house where it's more individual presence.

Yes we are always a step below them despite our exterior success and genetic advantage points. You will never be seen as same as them unless you become taller. I had a 28 inch waist at 7% bodyfat in my bodybuilding days, stopped since 2 years now. Waiting for my surgery. Then to resume training 100%.
Don't nagg about your height in real life. They will give you   for it trust me.

[IamAndrew]

One similarity between our stories (other than the obvious) is we were all outcasts in society (due to race, socioeconomic status, and/or moving to new places) before height even played a large role. Then we developed more passive, introverted personas that go aggressive in the face of disrespect or challenge. I think the reason some short guys are totally confident about their stature is because they didn't have these other issues to make them so highly self-conscious and analytical of their surroundings. If we had a stable childhood and adolescence with culturally identical and respective peers, would we still feel this way? I'm not sure I would.

"And then you see it was your height that got in your way for many things and not overcoming that adolecence view of life and step into adult persona"

I still feel like a teenager sometimes, especially in public, because all the 13-15-year-olds nowadays are my size. Ever feel awkward standing next to some 14-year-old who's taller than you yet you have all the features of a man while he's a child? That feeling sucks and is even embarrassing sometimes. CLL in some respects can be seen like a "graduating" to adulthood.