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Author Topic: About the "Friendzone"  (Read 27142 times)

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Wannabegiant

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About the "Friendzone"
« on: June 05, 2014, 06:12:37 PM »

So in my lonely days during the consolidation period i have had way to much time to think about things, mostly depressing things to be honest, all my friends and other young people are out and having fun while i will spend majority of this summer in my house in isolation. Fortunately there have been a lot of rainy and gray days so far this summer.

Anyway one thing i came to realize that is a big deal in my life right now, is that no matter how much you like a girl or enjoy being with her, you should never accept the friendzone if you get there..

First of all she expects you to accept her terms while she refused your terms, and when you get down to it, regardless of what explanations or sugar coating they might say to make you want to be friends, she still thinks she is better than you, and too good for you. I personally would never want to hang out with someone who made it obvious that they think less of you.

I was debating wheter i was gonna get in touch with a girl i mentioned before who not only friendzoned me, but constantly made it very obvious that she thought she was "above" me. She got a bit humbled after i ditched her and she tried to get me back, and while i really wanted to see her in person with my new height, this thing simply takes way to long to get done so at this point i just hope i will run into her some day, just so i can put her down a notch.

So i guess id like to know if some of you guys still hang out as friends with girls who you liked but didnt want you? if you do, how does it feel? (im talking from a guys perspective but i realize that girls probably get friendzoned to once in a while)
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KiloKAHN

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 06:35:20 PM »

I have some female friends, but only ones I was never interested in in the first place. I never hang out with women who I have a thing for but only see me as a friend. If I want to be around women that I'm sexually attracted to but can't touch, I just go to the nudie bar.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2014, 06:54:44 PM »

yes of course, i have female friends too that im not interested in, but also some that i would "do" if given the opportunity but i dont even go there because it would be akward and the friendship is good as it is.

However if i have tried to get someone i wanted and get refused, then i could never agree to hang out with that person anymore, its just humiliating to be honest.
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KiloKAHN

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2014, 07:00:08 PM »

It's awkward and you're just tormenting yourself by still hanging out with the woman. It's very hard to be "just friends" with someone you're very attracted to, especially if the person has rejected you. I couldn't remain just friends after that and would distance myself.
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GeTs

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2014, 07:38:34 PM »

There's a simple thing : u want something go get it, u don't want it don't go for it, its even more successful when u are mysterious
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2014, 08:07:59 PM »

The thing that really sucks in my case, is that im fairly confident that this specific girl im referring to would have been very attracted to me if i had been:

1. taller
2. dressed better
3. more muscular
4. more "status" (measured from facebook and instagram likes i guess)

And the only reason i didnt dress impressively and work on my physique was because of my lack of height..and status/popularity would have been pretty easy to get if you had all of the other 3 + good looks. It would be much easier to talk to random people this way.

She already told me several times i was good looking and that she loved my eyes etc, but she didnt want to be intimate with me because when that happens usually you lose contact with that person pretty quickly (in her experience). But that was just sugar coating im almost certain of. Because as soon as a guy with more status and height appeared she went for it. But yeah she lost contact with him pretty quickly.

So the problem is that there is a good possibility that the "first impression" makes it impossible for me to get her even if i get all the other things i lacked when i met her, but there is a small possibility that she wouldnt be able to resist me if she saw the new me 8). But i dont know if it is worth trying unless i see her by chance when im out.
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KrP1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2014, 09:49:42 PM »

A girl that dont have something with you because you arent tall is a girl that  doesnt worth it
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IamAndrew

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2014, 11:01:57 PM »

You say you don't like being friends with a girl who put you in the friendzone, since it's them seeing themselves as better than you, but then you put females in the friendzone? What if one of those female friends is interested in you, would you cut them off?

Idk her, but it's not wrong having opposite sex friends. They're great for advice about the other gender and for opinions.

Anyway, if it makes you feel better, I spent 22/24 summers doing nothing too. And the 2 summers I did something were for a week at a time. I didn't even have a choice with the sucky life too, moving 13x as a kid and now living out in the middle of nowhere and work alone= my social life and opportunities have been cauterized.

Also, +1 to KirP1's post. If she friendzoned you cuz of your height then she's not worth being anything more than a friend anyway. Dun be bent up about this IMO.

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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2014, 11:46:33 PM »

You say you don't like being friends with a girl who put you in the friendzone, since it's them seeing themselves as better than you, but then you put females in the friendzone? What if one of those female friends is interested in you, would you cut them off?

Idk her, but it's not wrong having opposite sex friends. They're great for advice about the other gender and for opinions.

Anyway, if it makes you feel better, I spent 22/24 summers doing nothing too. And the 2 summers I did something were for a week at a time. I didn't even have a choice with the sucky life too, moving 13x as a kid and now living out in the middle of nowhere and work alone= my social life and opportunities have been cauterized.

Also, +1 to KirP1's post. If she friendzoned you cuz of your height then she's not worth being anything more than a friend anyway. Dun be bent up about this IMO.

Well I have never put a girl in the friendzone, the only times i have "rejected" girls where at parties or random hangouts where i just had met the girl and they made some kind of advance on me, i didnt say right out that i wasnt interested but i usually make up some excuse and walk away. Girls i have known for a while, if some of them did like me, they didnt make a move or ask me out, so no way for me to put them in the friend zone. I wouldnt expect such a girl to want to hang out with me if i flat out rejected them though.

The thing is, im a very proud individual, and i would never take advice from a girl on how to pick up girls, partly because i dont need their help, i have pretty good success rate actually. The other reason is that just accepting help from a girl implicates that i need their help and that im not any good at it, so i wouldnt do it even if i needed help because of pride, especially not from a girl who rejected me.

And btw, i quite a lot of good summers, of course they could have been much better because i always had some problem in the back of my head, but i managed to ignore it at times and enjoy life. Socializing and seeing girls, but i never felt i was the person i wanted to be so of course i was depressed at the same time. Im sorry if you had so many unpleasant summers  :-\

But this girl, she didnt necessarily reject me because of height (she is really short but possibly she has a height complex and only dates tall guys) but i noticed her giving more attention to the tall guys at parties compared to others and myself even though i had known her for a longer time.

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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2014, 11:31:30 PM »

Ah crap.. seems this girl i mentioned has gotten a new boyfriend.. i dont know what he looks like but it annoys me that she seemingly is still enjoying life as much as ever while i cant do anything yet. Im starting to think that she wont care enough about losing me unless i get reallly high status at this point. Well at this new height its possible but maybe its to late and i dont think it will be worth all that effort. god dammit.
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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #10 on: September 24, 2014, 10:47:52 PM »

I think you should view this as a new start to life. and focus on the future instead of the past.

im sure you will get all the status you want and all the girls you can handle when your back to 100% :)

good luck wannabegiant, and I wish you a speedy recovery :)
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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #11 on: September 24, 2014, 10:48:43 PM »

oops I didn't realize this thread was a few months old lol my bad. this is probably ancient history by now.

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Shor7Guy

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #12 on: September 24, 2014, 11:42:12 PM »

How much did you lengthen and what was your starting height?
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #13 on: September 25, 2014, 12:21:42 AM »

I think you should view this as a new start to life. and focus on the future instead of the past.

im sure you will get all the status you want and all the girls you can handle when your back to 100% :)

good luck wannabegiant, and I wish you a speedy recovery :)

Hey man thanks for the encouragement ;), youre right i should focus on the future instead. and yeah ure right, not ancient but a lot has changed since my last comment here.

it seems this girl wasnt in a relationship with that guy, and now she is doing some abroad study program in Bali with some friends, but interestingly, she hasnt uploaded any pictures on her fb or instagram despite having been there for over a month. Her two friends she traveled with have updated both of their fb and instagram with photos regulary, one of them do it several times a day.

This girl i like is tagged in a few of her friends photos which they uploaded of course, but i find it weird how she isnt uploading anything her self and not commenting on any picture. When i used to hang out with her she posted lots of photos all the time. She started to change around the time i ditched her, but honestly after all this time i thought for sure she should be back to normal, but as mentioned she is still not acting like she used to in regards to social media.

I cant help analyzing this stuff when im in my current condition, fortunately it seems i might be able to remove these frames within 2 weeks from now.
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Taller

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #14 on: September 25, 2014, 12:21:58 AM »

How much did you lengthen and what was your starting height?

Why don't you read his diary? Anyways, he went from 175 to 179.
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Taller

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2014, 12:27:33 AM »

fortunately it seems i might be able to remove these frames within 2 weeks from now.


That is awesome news! How is your walking at this point? Do you still feel especially attracted to this girl?

How do you plan on beginning to increase your social value now that you're taller? I am about your new height and I can tell you that a great social life doesn't happen automatically at 179. You've got to really work towards it. I think that's the case at any height though.

There's no doubt in my mind that it will be easier to get to where you want to be, socially, at 179 than 175, but having a plan of how to get there would still go a very long way.

How are you going to reintegrate into your old world?
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #16 on: September 25, 2014, 12:28:56 AM »

How much did you lengthen and what was your starting height?

I was 174-175 cm, now i am 178-179 cm. So its a decent gain, enough to be noticable but not so much that it will be obvious i did some surgical incision, only my close friends would realize the change immediately i think.

I live in Sweden though, so now i am close to average height here, and taller than ca 95% of women id say.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #17 on: September 25, 2014, 12:45:23 AM »


That is awesome news! How is your walking at this point? Do you still feel especially attracted to this girl?

How do you plan on beginning to increase your social value now that you're taller? I am about your new height and I can tell you that a great social life doesn't happen automatically at 179. You've got to really work towards it. I think that's the case at any height though.

There's no doubt in my mind that it will be easier to get to where you want to be, socially, at 179 than 175, but having a plan of how to get there would still go a very long way.

How are you going to reintegrate into your old world?

My walking inside houses (floors) is very close to pre-surgery level, and i can make it look 100% normal with a little bit of extra effort, no pain and legs feel quite light despite having the frames on. Walking outside on sloping ground is still a bit tricky though, but its improving and im sure with the frames removed it will instantly get easier due to not having he ankle pins in the way.

About the girl...yes im very attracted to her physically, that hasnt changed a bit.., her personality is entertaining also, but unfortunately i have many negative thoughts about her after how she treated me like a loser at times. Its a dilemma, part of me still wants her despite knowing that she probably isnt the right girl for me, even though she appears to regret her behaviour..

Yeah true im aware that being average height wont give me any significant social value automatically, however i have a very unique appearance, and i plan to add lots of muscle and train mixed martial arts as soon as i am allowed to. I will look like a guy that you dont want to mess with since i have a masculine menacing looking face, i dont intend to act like bully or douche (i hate that sort of thing) but i know that if i look tough i will get respected even if the other guys have 3 times as many likes on their photos as i do.

Also i dont have any trouble talking to new people, its just that im to proud to initiate new conversations with new people sometimes and if i notice that i have to work harder to get noticed i usually stop trying, but im sure i wont have to work nearly as hard in that regard now, which will make me more motivated to meet new people.

Also with the height problem gone, i can finally focus on doing things i should have done many years ago if i wasnt depressed..things like getting a drivers license, finishing my university program, dress more nicely, add muscle mass as mentioned, stuff like that..

Also i dont necessarily care to be super popular, i doubt il ever get there but it doesnt bother me. Considering how  ty most of my life has been in comparison to most people where i live (at least those i know) im sure il be able to appreciate being decently popular more than the average dude who didnt have to work for it at all.
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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #18 on: September 25, 2014, 12:52:08 AM »

congrats on 2 weeks left, the finish line is in sight. :) I skimmed over you diary also. :)

it always surprises me how long it takes to start walking again even after consolidation :(
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Shortie

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #19 on: September 25, 2014, 04:18:56 PM »

You worry too much man , becarful don't let your mind drive you too much thinking about the past isn't good for you at all and you will gain nothing , how did you know she rejected you cuz of your height ? If I was you I would fouces on what I'm doing now think about the future get in shape imagin your self in 6 month from now how woul you look like how your life gonna be , and trust me you will be happy .
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Shortie

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #20 on: September 25, 2014, 04:20:22 PM »

Don't cnatact her after you go back just live your life man . U deserve it now
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #21 on: September 25, 2014, 04:29:05 PM »

congrats on 2 weeks left, the finish line is in sight. :) I skimmed over you diary also. :)

it always surprises me how long it takes to start walking again even after consolidation :(

Thank you man! Yeah true although it still doesnt feel like it is almost over due to the fact that i probably will have to be so careful the first weeks without frames (even if they tell me the risk is very low of anything happening i will still be paranoid about it). Also getting back into my normal life will probably be difficult at first, many questions from friends to deal with probably.

Yeah i agree everything about this surgery takes much longer than i initially expected, but i think 2-3 months from now i will be able to walk completely normal even outdoors.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #22 on: September 25, 2014, 04:44:57 PM »

You worry too much man , becarful don't let your mind drive you too much thinking about the past isn't good for you at all and you will gain nothing , how did you know she rejected you cuz of your height ? If I was you I would fouces on what I'm doing now think about the future get in shape imagin your self in 6 month from now how woul you look like how your life gonna be , and trust me you will be happy .

Yeah i know but this girl is kind of a symbol of why my life has always been crap since my teens started.. all the bad luck i had back then made me lose so much in terms of life experience, and even up until now i am still affected by that, i lack the popularity of many guys including many who are substantially uglier than i am, and while status wasnt as important when i was younger now it is really important if you want a beautiful girlfriend and an eventful life.

But im not saying height was the primary reason she rejected me, to be honest i didnt have much of anything when she met me. I didnt dress well, i was skinny, i was shorter than average, i didnt take care of my skin as well as i should have, and i had barely any photos on facebook/social medias (and those i had where really bad and not really representative of how i look).

So im not surprised at all that she friendzoned me, in fact i wouldnt even have talked to her in normal circumstances but she actively started calling me and wanting to hang out, I acted confident around her most of the time but deep inside i just knew she wasnt interested in me in a sexual way, and i didnt take long for me to find out that it was true either.

She treated me without any respect at times, but im not sure it was intentional, but regardless if i had taken better care of my appearance before i met her im certain things would have been different (who knows height might still have been a dealbreaker).

She seems to regret it since she was desperate to get me back after i stopped hanging out with her, but eventually she gave up because i said something hurtful to her. She probably thinks i dont care at all about her anymore. Im curious if she would act different around me now though since by the time she started adulating me i had started to dress a bit better and took better care of my skin and hair, got some much better photos uploaded too and more likes (status lol). Im not popular but at least i dont seem like a total loner/loser anymore on social media.

I know that with my new height, and with some muscle and fancy clothes, im easily on her level in terms of physical appearance. I will probably never reach her level of popularity though, its to late for me for that, unless i become very successful in my career or something.

Im to proud to just call her out of the blue now since its been so long, but i hope i run into her some day. still im trying to focus on the future instead even if she wont be a part of it.
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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2014, 07:56:57 PM »

im just curious. what were some of the disrespectful ways she treated you?

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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #24 on: September 25, 2014, 07:58:07 PM »



sorry I had to post the video LOL :) :)

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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #25 on: September 25, 2014, 08:45:25 PM »

im just curious. what were some of the disrespectful ways she treated you?

lol dont worry about the video, i love south park so :D

Yeah, well she would text me last minute to come hang out with her at some club (she wasnt there yet either but she lived much closer) several times, too late for me to be able to realistically ask my own friends if they want to join in. So basically she expects me to drop everything and come se her, and i did several times.

But every time when i got there, she had other friends or acquaintances there and would often disappear go talk to them and sometimes come back to me when she was bored, she had to talk to everybody and be at the center of attention all the time. Sure she would introduce me to some of her friends there, but after the initial introduction they mostly start to talk about intergroup stuff since they know each other and its hard for me to take part of those conversations, and since i couldnt bring my own friends i was kind of left out, and i dont like to mingle when i have to work hard to get into someone elses group you know, i doubt many people do. 

I told her straight out eventually that she should tell me earlier if she expects me to hang out with her, and also make it clear that she didnt want to go out to see me but rather have me as some kind of sidekick, she took me for granted.

Also she would make kind of harsh jokes but of course i played along most of the time.

When talking on the phone or texting, she was considerate, funny and caring most of the time, but almost every time i saw her and other people where there it was so obvious that she would rather talk to those other people who might have had more status that i did, even though she told me she didnt know them that well, and i was often in the background, of course she talked to me too, but its annoying having to work so hard for her attention when she was the one who asked me to come.

There are also some other details which i mentioned in some other thread i believe, to much to get into but basically she slept with a guy with more status than i had only 4 days after meeting him, and this guy was from the same town as me so i knew him a little bit. Even knowing that i liked her she asked me about him if he was a nice guy and when i told her i didnt know if i wanted to stay around anymore knowing she was with him, she begged me to stay as a friend. she managed to convince me but maybe after a few months something else happened, basically she was going to go away for a trip for a month, and we hadnt seen each other for a some weeks so i asked her if she wanted to come to a party my friend was having so i we could hang out before she leaves. She said that she might be able to come.

Then the day of the party, she doesnt call until the clock was like eleven at night, (apparantly she had went to the cinema with some friends and the movie ended late) then she told me that she was at the bus stop close to the party and that she time to chat for a few minutes only before leaving. I was disappointed but i went outside to see her, then after talking a bit i wonder why she cant stay and why she came so far if she was going to go home already. She didnt want to tell me but she knew that there was no way to hide it, I found out she was going to go home to that other guy and sleep at his house. Of course i took big offense to that but i played it cool, although of course i intentionally made it obvious that i was pissed, she realized that but she is to much of a coward to bring it up or admit she screwed up.

I told her to get moving and have a nice trip, she wanted a hug but i didnt give it to her. After that i never initiated a text or phonecall to her again, she knew i was angry and eventually started to write flattering stuff, i responded occasionally but very cold and made it clear i wasnt interested in seeing her again without saying it straight out.
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GROWtalORdieTRYING1

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #26 on: September 26, 2014, 03:04:24 AM »

I FOUND SECRET VIDEO FOOTAGE OF WANNABEGIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol this is you wannabegiant the last time you saw that girl. :)

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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #27 on: September 26, 2014, 10:11:16 AM »

xD

Anyway, i doubt after all that has happened this can be fixed into something good, but i still want her to see the "new" me someday, on social media sure, but also in person so she can tell that i aint small anymore.
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Uppland

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #28 on: September 26, 2014, 03:28:47 PM »

I don't want to be rude WBG but I think being put in the friendzone is mostly your own fault. If you want to sleep with her just make that clear, act flirtatious and see if she reciprocates your feelings. If she does - great you're good to go, if not -great now you know and can move on to the next girl.

Personally I find it really hard to be friends with girls, I've tried but it never worked and nowadays I feel like I don't want to anyway. Most girls aren't very fun to be friends with just annoying.
Anyway if you make it clear what you want and that you're fine with her deciding either way then she will respect you at some level, maybe she'll also call you up if later if she's feeling horny and are alone -or not. Don't expect every girl to jump into bed with you and to be honest you shouldn't just expect people to respect you either. If you are worthy of respect you will get it it's not a right and you won't get it from everyone - that's okay no one wins every time.

If most girls are "friendzoning" (A.K.A rejecting) you I'm sorry - you're not very attractive or at least not very sexual. Might be you're coming of in a friendly way, remember: sex is not for friends. Just make sure you know what you want, and that she knows, if she tries to be a pal don't act like she's one of your buddys back beacause then you are -you guessed it- friends.

Finally don't talk to that girl if she doesn't want sex and you don't want her as a friend you're done with each other. Going back to her just screems the same neediness that made her reject you in the first place.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #29 on: September 26, 2014, 04:00:17 PM »

I don't want to be rude WBG but I think being put in the friendzone is mostly your own fault. If you want to sleep with her just make that clear, act flirtatious and see if she reciprocates your feelings. If she does - great you're good to go, if not -great now you know and can move on to the next girl.

Personally I find it really hard to be friends with girls, I've tried but it never worked and nowadays I feel like I don't want to anyway. Most girls aren't very fun to be friends with just annoying.
Anyway if you make it clear what you want and that you're fine with her deciding either way then she will respect you at some level, maybe she'll also call you up if later if she's feeling horny and are alone -or not. Don't expect every girl to jump into bed with you and to be honest you shouldn't just expect people to respect you either. If you are worthy of respect you will get it it's not a right and you won't get it from everyone - that's okay no one wins every time.

If most girls are "friendzoning" (A.K.A rejecting) you I'm sorry - you're not very attractive or at least not very sexual. Might be you're coming of in a friendly way, remember: sex is not for friends. Just make sure you know what you want, and that she knows, if she tries to be a pal don't act like she's one of your buddys back beacause then you are -you guessed it- friends.

Finally don't talk to that girl if she doesn't want sex and you don't want her as a friend you're done with each other. Going back to her just screems the same neediness that made her reject you in the first place.

I wouldnt say it is anybodys fault i was put into the friendzone, and being put into the friendzone is not the reason i was angry at her anyway, i did her a favor and tried to be her friend after that because she didnt want to lose me as a friend, even though i probably should have stopped hanging out with her immediately. I only had known her for like 2-3 months before i was friendzoned, and in that time i had met her in person maybe 5 times if i recall correctly, and i realize you have to make your intention clear from the beginning but im sure she would have rejected me anyway if i asked her from the beginning and then it would probably have ended right there. I did try to flirt with her occasionally but she would laugh it off and change subject.

I treated her the same way after i was friendzoned, although i stopped flirting for the most part.

Its completely understandable why she wasnt attracted to me in the first place, i assumed that was the case which is why i at first didnt make any move on her, she made an effort to hang out with me a lot and send lots of messages even though we just met in school, if she didnt do that its likely i would never had tried to get to know her better, since i wasnt happy with myself back then.

The reason i was lacking in so many areas prior to meeting her is technically not my own fault either, i had a series of bad events which i had no control over happen to me during my teens, which has affected my life in all areas. When you are depressed you often dont even try to work on yourself, but i tried anyway but it took me much longer to improve since i had so many things against me. Many things other than height.

Only now after this LL is done do i feel i can reach my full potential in terms of physical appearance, which many of my friends did by the time they where 18-20 years old.

She changed though for sure after i left, she changed the way she talked to me, and she is way less active on social media now. Now im not sure if she would be any different in person if i meet her, but its something i would like to find out. But at this point she is probably angry and sad because she thinks i dont care about her at all, so i expect her to be in defensive mode if i meet her. Part of me just wants to sleep with her since im attracted to her, part of me want to be with her because other than her superficial and arrogant traits she was very fun to talk to and made my boring life more enjoyable at times. But i cant really see it working out in anyway because of the bad experiences in the past with her.

I agree with you that it is difficult to be friends with girls since they for the most part dont do things i enjoy doing, and if you are attracted to them it can become akward at times.

I dont find myself being friendzoned alot since most girls i meet are at clubs, so i either get rejected or score, this girl was different though since i met her at school and she for some reason really wanted to hang out with me even though i didnt make an effort to talk to her in the beginning.

As for respect, i dont agree, there is a certain level of respect that you should be able to expect. If you notice someone treating you worse than others openly then there is a reason to make a deal out of it. If she expects me to go out and meet her last minute in some club in the city (she lives much closer as mentioned) then i at least expect her to want to actually hang out with me when i get there, not hang out with some other people and occasionally talk to me, since i wasnt able to bring my own friends.

And just to make it clear, i didnt show her any kind of neediness (if i did it must have been miniscule) when i met her and hanged out with her. As i mentioned she kept spamming me with texts and calls, i was laidback and made her laugh a lot with my jokes, we mostly talked random stuff, and i was acting confident when i was out with her. But as mentioned the only time i reacted "badly" was when it became clear that she just wanted me there as a sidekick, i mean i dont think anybody wants to be treated that way, she asked me to come out and see her, i did that, but then she barely hangs out with me and instead starts mingling with all the more popular dudes, i would be fine with it if i had someone i knew with me, but im not the type of guy to just start talking to random people in a bar when im basically alone and not drunk.
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Uppland

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Re: About the "Friendzone"
« Reply #30 on: September 26, 2014, 05:52:43 PM »

I wouldnt say it is anybodys fault i was put into the friendzone, and being put into the friendzone is not the reason i was angry at her anyway, i did her a favor and tried to be her friend after that because she didnt want to lose me as a friend, even though i probably should have stopped hanging out with her immediately. I only had known her for like 2-3 months before i was friendzoned, and in that time i had met her in person maybe 5 times if i recall correctly, and i realize you have to make your intention clear from the beginning but im sure she would have rejected me anyway if i asked her from the beginning and then it would probably have ended right there. I did try to flirt with her occasionally but she would laugh it off and change subject.

I treated her the same way after i was friendzoned, although i stopped flirting for the most part.

Its completely understandable why she wasnt attracted to me in the first place, i assumed that was the case which is why i at first didnt make any move on her, she made an effort to hang out with me a lot and send lots of messages even though we just met in school, if she didnt do that its likely i would never had tried to get to know her better, since i wasnt happy with myself back then.

The reason i was lacking in so many areas prior to meeting her is technically not my own fault either, i had a series of bad events which i had no control over happen to me during my teens, which has affected my life in all areas. When you are depressed you often dont even try to work on yourself, but i tried anyway but it took me much longer to improve since i had so many things against me. Many things other than height.

Only now after this LL is done do i feel i can reach my full potential in terms of physical appearance, which many of my friends did by the time they where 18-20 years old.

She changed though for sure after i left, she changed the way she talked to me, and she is way less active on social media now. Now im not sure if she would be any different in person if i meet her, but its something i would like to find out. But at this point she is probably angry and sad because she thinks i dont care about her at all, so i expect her to be in defensive mode if i meet her. Part of me just wants to sleep with her since im attracted to her, part of me want to be with her because other than her superficial and arrogant traits she was very fun to talk to and made my boring life more enjoyable at times. But i cant really see it working out in anyway because of the bad experiences in the past with her.

I agree with you that it is difficult to be friends with girls since they for the most part dont do things i enjoy doing, and if you are attracted to them it can become akward at times.

I dont find myself being friendzoned alot since most girls i meet are at clubs, so i either get rejected or score, this girl was different though since i met her at school and she for some reason really wanted to hang out with me even though i didnt make an effort to talk to her in the beginning.

As for respect, i dont agree, there is a certain level of respect that you should be able to expect. If you notice someone treating you worse than others openly then there is a reason to make a deal out of it. If she expects me to go out and meet her last minute in some club in the city (she lives much closer as mentioned) then i at least expect her to want to actually hang out with me when i get there, not hang out with some other people and occasionally talk to me, since i wasnt able to bring my own friends.

And just to make it clear, i didnt show her any kind of neediness (if i did it must have been miniscule) when i met her and hanged out with her. As i mentioned she kept spamming me with texts and calls, i was laidback and made her laugh a lot with my jokes, we mostly talked random stuff, and i was acting confident when i was out with her. But as mentioned the only time i reacted "badly" was when it became clear that she just wanted me there as a sidekick, i mean i dont think anybody wants to be treated that way, she asked me to come out and see her, i did that, but then she barely hangs out with me and instead starts mingling with all the more popular dudes, i would be fine with it if i had someone i knew with me, but im not the type of guy to just start talking to random people in a bar when im basically alone and not drunk.

Okay man I didn't mean anything by it I'm sure you'll do even better with the chicks now that you're taller. Are you recovering well, when do you get the frames off?
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