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Author Topic: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer  (Read 7801 times)

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Wannabegiant

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So there is a height requirement in the western nations for dating and achieving social status, we know that.

But there is also (kind of) a dressing style requirement and social media popularity requirement to reach that level.

I had lots of other issues due to unfortunate circumstances before height became a problem when i was a early teenager all the way up until today, some of those problems made me really depressed, but mainly it made me neglect trying to be good at sports, trying to be the best in school, and i didnt even try to impress girls or people at school by having the latest phones or modern clothes etc. I maybe started making some effort around when i turned 18, but then i was behind by a lot and i realized that i lacked certain things to ever reach that level (like height)

I never followed fashion and i didnt take weight lifting seriously due to these problems. So i ended up being behind the cool kids in most areas.

I know i have the looks and now i have the height as well to be considered on the same level as them, but to get there i also need to dress similar to them and take lots of pictures of me doing random stuff and trying to make it look like i am living the perfect life, and then posting it on social medias like instagram and fb.

I think i will just skip the whole social media crap, at least i wont get to invested into it, because i think its a bit ridiculous. But when it comes to dressing "properly" (people expect you to wear hip hop caps, beats by dre without using them, expensive sneakers or these colorful airmax shoes with elevated soles, you should have some weird bracelets or random ornaments around your wrists unless you have an expensive looking watch, and some kind of necklace/chain, crosses are way overused even by non-believers lol).

Some of these dressing pieces i do use, like chains and watches, but all the other crap while i agree that it looks kind of good, its also not original at all at this point, and it doesnt show any kind of personality imo. But for some reason if you dont dress like this at least occasionally you wont be considered cool it seems.

So my problem now is that i dont know how i should do, i want to improve my dressing style because i never bothered before. But it will seem like i am catching up so late that it might seem a bit pathetic. I shouldnt care about what others think of me but i have to admit that i do that a lot.

Anybody else having this convoluted issue? xD or if you are intending to improve everything about your looks after LL this might be something you have thought about before.

This is only relevant in the 18- late 20s age group i imagine. So it might look even more sad if i try to catch up when im starting to get to old to dress this way. well i have some years left but its still very late.
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KiloKAHN

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I always had the grunge look because it's what I was into. I had a lot of friends into the same sort of style, and how you dress does seem to influence who will be drawn to you to a degree. I think getting built can also help. In high school I was short of course so I was never the center of attention or Mr Popular, but at least a lot of people includng on the football team showed me a level of respect that I would not have received otherwise. Maintaining physical fitness can help social interactions too without having to go overboard on a wardrobe makeover and change who you are. At least if you do change your style make sure it's something you're comfortable with and not totally alien to you.
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Initial height: 164 cm / ~5'5" (Surgery on 6/25/2014)
Current height: 170 cm / 5'7" (Frames removed 6/29/2015)
External Tibia lengthening performed by Dr Mangal Parihar in Mumbai, India.
My Cosmetic Leg Lengthening Experience

Wannabegiant

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I always had the grunge look because it's what I was into. I had a lot of friends into the same sort of style, and how you dress does seem to influence who will be drawn to you to a degree. I think getting built can also help. In high school I was short of course so I was never the center of attention or Mr Popular, but at least a lot of people includng on the football team showed me a level of respect that I would not have received otherwise. Maintaining physical fitness can help social interactions too without having to go overboard on a wardrobe makeover and change who you are. At least if you do change your style make sure it's something you're comfortable with and not totally alien to you.

yeah thats some very good points. Personally i am pretty much a blank slate, tried to dress conservatively, the type of clothes that would draw the least ammount of attention despite the fact that i wasnt popular anyway. Lots of black and very little patterns etc.

i think what i need i simply get built, and start using caps when im outside (if the weather is good) and start using more colors and match them better. For parties and stuff i use to wear cheap shirts and decent looking dark jeans (slim fit), maybe i should start wearing suits eventually but i dont feel comfortable in them, i probably need to get built. Im usually have a shaved head, with suits i think i might need to change hairstyle for a better fit.

Other than that, i should start using more ornaments as mentioned without going overboard. chains and watches should be enough.

Also, i realize that at 24 years old, i might not have much time left to dress like the style i mentioned in the OP, apparantly most girls in the mid twenties and up prefer guys who dress elegant or with class rather than the "swag" style which i described earlier..

I do dress in a classy style for special occassions, but maybe not flashy enough, usually just cheap shirts and some slim fit jeans.. i have a nice watch though, but i need to get used to having other haircuts with longer hair..
« Last Edit: July 25, 2014, 03:31:38 PM by Wannabegiant »
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mrtall

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I always had the grunge look because it's what I was into. I had a lot of friends into the same sort of style, and how you dress does seem to influence who will be drawn to you to a degree. I think getting built can also help. In high school I was short of course so I was never the center of attention or Mr Popular, but at least a lot of people includng on the football team showed me a level of respect that I would not have received otherwise. Maintaining physical fitness can help social interactions too without having to go overboard on a wardrobe makeover and change who you are. At least if you do change your style make sure it's something you're comfortable with and not totally alien to you.

A big thing is re-programming your personality. Many of us have complexes and deep rooted insecurities due to our stature, hence why we do this surgery. Just chilling the fk out and reprogramming yourself with positive experiences with your new height over an extended period of time will have the most profound effect on your social status in the long run.

The clothes and superficial things are the easy bit!
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Wannabegiant

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A big thing is re-programming your personality. Many of us have complexes and deep rooted insecurities due to our stature, hence why we do this surgery. Just chilling the f**k out and reprogramming yourself with positive experiences with your new height over an extended period of time will have the most profound effect on your social status in the long run.

The clothes and superficial things are the easy bit!

Yeah i agree with that assesment, in my case though im annoyed with how much of a loser i must appear to be to some of those popular people. I mean i have better facial aesthetics than many of them, i have a masculine and unique look, but i did dress pretty bad and i have been mostly passive/laid back in my personality. Also i am relatively skinny which doesnt go well with my manly face..

So i dont work out, i dont dress well, im 24 years old, no drivers licence. Still not done with my bachelors degree.. and for all they know im just spending most of this year working some  ty job abroads and pretty much never updating my facebook etc.

It must seem like i have given up and will end up one of those forever alone dudes. I cant wait to come back to prove them wrong..but this wait is just so god damn long...
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Orlando

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A big thing is re-programming your personality. Many of us have complexes and deep rooted insecurities due to our stature, hence why we do this surgery. Just chilling the f**k out and reprogramming yourself with positive experiences with your new height over an extended period of time will have the most profound effect on your social status in the long run.

The clothes and superficial things are the easy bit!

Very good point, the real changes that will last comes from within.
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jerry

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In fact alot of guys don't dress well because we don't obsess about it the way girls do about fashion.   What I did was go to the cool shopping area and try the items there.  There's always a cool shopping place where young people get the fashionable clothing.   Read the men's magazine and see what the male models wear.  Then you'll find out what you feel comfortable wearing and look good in.
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Wannabegiant

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In fact alot of guys don't dress well because we don't obsess about it the way girls do about fashion.   What I did was go to the cool shopping area and try the items there.  There's always a cool shopping place where young people get the fashionable clothing.   Read the men's magazine and see what the male models wear.  Then you'll find out what you feel comfortable wearing and look good in.

Yeah thats true, but to be considered "cool" and be respected it seems you have to dress at least above average, unless you are really tall and muscular, in that case you can get away with dressing in a bland style
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jerry

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Yeah thats true, but to be considered "cool" and be respected it seems you have to dress at least above average, unless you are really tall and muscular, in that case you can get away with dressing in a bland style

That's how our modern society is for better or worse.   I try to develop a interest in fashion so it's less of a chore and more of a hobby.   
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Wannabegiant

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That's how our modern society is for better or worse.   I try to develop a interest in fashion so it's less of a chore and more of a hobby.

yeah..im just curious if people will think one is still a loser if you start to dress well so late when you are already a grown up, like a latebloomer..
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G-Man

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One is a loser if he cares too much about what other people think.  ;D
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Wannabegiant

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One is a loser if he cares too much about what other people think.  ;D

You have a point, but the problem is that even if you dont care about what other people think, it wont stop them from treating you like a loser if they have a better image than you..and of course im all about not taking crap and talking back but then of course people can be disrespectful in subtle ways and then suddenly we are the bad guys if we make a big deal about it..
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G-Man

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Yeah I get you but do you really need people like that (judgemental) around you?  You are 24 so its around that time that school friends mostly disappear and you make new ones at work or in different spheres of life.

Do what its good for you and what makes you happy, the rest should follow!
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Wannabegiant

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Yeah I get you but do you really need people like that (judgemental) around you?  You are 24 so its around that time that school friends mostly disappear and you make new ones at work or in different spheres of life.

Do what its good for you and what makes you happy, the rest should follow!

Its not so much that i want to hang out with people that treat me like that, but its very common for me to come across people who are a bit judgemental etc, but i get the feeling that they would seem like totally different people if they respected me. So life would get more interesting this way.
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G-Man

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Ok, so focus on the ladies, thatll make your life more interesting!
Hit the gym, work on your shape (really works with the chix) and dress neat.
P.S. lose the chains ;)
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Moubgf

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #15 on: September 08, 2014, 03:16:31 AM »

Its not so much that i want to hang out with people that treat me like that, but its very common for me to come across people who are a bit judgemental etc, but i get the feeling that they would seem like totally different people if they respected me. So life would get more interesting this way.

Don't get their approval, in the end you will realise that you cant touch this approval thing, the seed of inadequate has already been planted inside you. The best thing for you is just do your thing and find QUALITY FRIENDS and live your life the way you want it to be. Trust me you will find no happiness trying to get approval from shallow equally insecure people who clinge to the tallest man in the room. Even there shows their lvl off intelligence and lack of awarness overall.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2014, 03:28:01 AM »

Ok, so focus on the ladies, thatll make your life more interesting!
Hit the gym, work on your shape (really works with the chix) and dress neat.
P.S. lose the chains ;)

Yeah true, im going to work out and dress better so that i know im on par with what people expect these days, focus on myself and then after that i know i will feel confident enough to not let the status and popularity stuff bother me to much. It will make me more confident chasing 10s in the clubs where first impressions are so important.

Yeah i guess im to old for chains now :p but i have a more mature one with a doggy tag like piece with my name engraved onto it. That one still works i think.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #17 on: September 08, 2014, 03:34:59 AM »

Don't get their approval, in the end you will realise that you cant touch this approval thing, the seed of inadequate has already been planted inside you. The best thing for you is just do your thing and find QUALITY FRIENDS and live your life the way you want it to be. Trust me you will find no happiness trying to get approval from shallow equally insecure people who clinge to the tallest man in the room. Even there shows their lvl off intelligence and lack of awarness overall.

I kind of agree, but the thing is i dont want the people who already treated me bad to start liking me, i just want to see if they change and if not i want to treat them bad in return now when i am on par appearance wise based on the standards i spoke about. After that they will probably start avoiding me  ;)

the seed of inadequate is not within me, its their image of me which is planted, and hard to change. The only way to change it would be to slowly and progressively act a bit differently to what they expect, and of course subtle changes to my look (working out and dressing better) this way it wont seem like i am trying to hard and it is natural. Of course if they still treat me the same i wont care at that point, because i will have the looks and confidence to treat them the same way and make it look easy, since they wont be in the comfort zone anymore without their usual advantages.

of course i will also try to find other people to hang out with and only deal with those mentioned above when i have to.
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Moubgf

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #18 on: September 08, 2014, 03:41:23 AM »

You will not have the upper hand with your old friend because they got the LL card to bring out on your ass. But as far as meeting new people..yeah then you are on the same level.
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Wannabegiant

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #19 on: September 08, 2014, 03:52:25 AM »

You will not have the upper hand with your old friend because they got the LL card to bring out on your ass. But as far as meeting new people..yeah then you are on the same level.

They dont know about LL, and my closest friends are the only ones who would notice immediately, but i can still claim i did bowleg correction to them.

The other "friends" i was talking about, they dont see me often enough to just instantly figure out what changed, more likely they will think "huh didnt that guy use to be smaller?" but they wont know how it happened or if they might have remembered my previous height wrong, since 4 cm is quite subtle change when people dont see you every day. They might think im wearing some different shoes or that they themselves where taller because they had shoes with lifts before when they saw me previously.

I doubt anyone will think i did some surgery, and if they would dare to bring it up, then i could just say bowleg correction or just deny it, its not impossible to grow a few cm before 25, even though its very uncommon.
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Moubgf

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #20 on: September 08, 2014, 03:54:02 AM »

They dont know about LL, and my closest friends are the only ones who would notice immediately, but i can still claim i did bowleg correction to them.

The other "friends" i was talking about, they dont see me often enough to just instantly figure out what changed, more likely they will think "huh didnt that guy use to be smaller?" but they wont know how it happened or if they might have remembered my previous height wrong, since 4 cm is quite subtle change when people dont see you every day. They might think im wearing some different shoes or that they themselves where taller because they had shoes with lifts before when they saw me previously.

I doubt anyone will think i did some surgery, and if they would dare to bring it up, then i could just say bowleg correction or just deny it, its not impossible to grow a few cm before 25, even though its very uncommon.

Ahh you only did 4 cm? why?. They will not notice any difference for only 4 cm lol. thought we wore talking about 3 inches + footwear. You are 5'10 now right?
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Wannabegiant

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #21 on: September 08, 2014, 04:01:17 AM »

Ahh you only did 4 cm? why?. They will not notice any difference for only 4 cm lol. thought we wore talking about 3 inches + footwear. You are 5'10 now right?

Yeah i did 4.3 cm to be exact, although it was 4.5 cm on my left leg to be exact because it was slightly shorter than my right leg before i did the surgery, so now that discrepancy is fixed as well.

I only wanted to be average height, because there are so many dudes this height, i know i can stand out positively for many other reasons now that im not shorter than average. Thats all i need, and lengthening less i will recover faster and have a much better chance for full recovery. Also i bio mechanically i will be closer to normal than anyone lengthening more will be, so thats another positive. Also proportions wise if i did more ut would make my tibias look to long i think.

And doing more cm with exfix only would take such a long time.

Im 5'10 now and it is all i need (178-179 fluctuating depending on if it is night or morning)

And btw believe me, 4 cm is noticable if you have 2 people standing next to each other with that height difference. this will make me be at eye level with many people i know.
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Moubgf

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #22 on: September 08, 2014, 04:12:02 AM »

Yeah i did 4.3 cm to be exact, although it was 4.5 cm on my left leg to be exact because it was slightly shorter than my right leg before i did the surgery, so now that discrepancy is fixed as well.

I only wanted to be average height, because there are so many dudes this height, i know i can stand out positively for many other reasons now that im not shorter than average. Thats all i need, and lengthening less i will recover faster and have a much better chance for full recovery. Also i bio mechanically i will be closer to normal than anyone lengthening more will be, so thats another positive. Also proportions wise if i did more ut would make my tibias look to long i think.

And doing more cm with exfix only would take such a long time.

Im 5'10 now and it is all i need (178-179 fluctuating depending on if it is night or morning)

And btw believe me, 4 cm is noticable if you have 2 people standing next to each other with that height difference. this will make me be at eye level with many people i know.

But do you think you could have squeezed out 7.5 cm if you really wanted to like if you wanted you could have reached it.
Also are you feeling taller when barefoot ? confidence wise also how is it on your new height
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Wannabegiant

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Re: Catching up to social standards without appearing like a pitiful late bloomer
« Reply #23 on: September 08, 2014, 04:23:23 AM »

But do you think you could have squeezed out 7.5 cm if you really wanted to like if you wanted you could have reached it.
Also are you feeling taller when barefoot ? confidence wise also how is it on your new height

Yeah definitely, i see no reason why i physically wouldnt have been able to do 7.5 cm since others where able to, and i didnt have any real complications. But it would have been more difficult for sure and not worth it. Proportion wise my legs wouldnt have looked as good either. And i doubt anyone who does over 6 cm will ever recover fully, and even if they technically do it wont feel anywhere near the same since the mehcanics have changed so much.

yeah of course feel taller barefoot as well, its awesome  :D and confidence is through the roof since i finally dont have any weaknesses left, nothing is lacking except more muscle mass (which is easily fixed)
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