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Author Topic: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet  (Read 138914 times)

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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #124 on: January 30, 2014, 06:11:30 PM »

Hey Slim_tim,

Dont even worry about it. LLing is tough. No matter what is said or done or what dr u use, at the end of the day it's going to be rlly tough on every front, especially mentally. That's why i think we should all stick together. I'll always be there if u r going through a rough time during ur journey bc i know how gruesomely difficult the mental journey of a LLer could be.

I am not sure which vid u r referring to since i have over 150 vids, but in general the pain that followed surgery is like a very intense soreness. the sharp pain of the nail stabbing into my leg during clicking is like someone pushing something into my muscles, it's hard to describe but i feel like passing out.

all in all, things r getting better and that's something to look forward to. i am going strong to 5, and then hopefully 10cm.  ;)
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #125 on: January 30, 2014, 06:12:15 PM »

hey guys, so i just woke up from a rlly long nap and talked with dr guichet. i am rlly emotionally unstable right now, which is werid bc i am usually a very calm and rational person before the surgery. i prized myself in my ability to think calmly and emotionlessly even in the toughest situations. but in the last two weeks, i have been all over the place emotionally, sometimes laughing one minute and crying the next, sometimes loving LLing and wanting to go 10cm and then do my tibia and sometimes hating it and wanting to go home NOW.

in many ways, i think that's the toughest part of LLing. but it's perfectly normal according to Dr Guichet. i feel like i have no control over my emotions anymore. i don't know if any old LLers out there can relate to this, but it's strange and frightening and humiliating bc i am not longer a stoic thinking machine that i once was. LL definitely brought me down a few pegs and now i don't even try to fight it. if i want to express my emotions and it's not harmful to others, i do it bc then it just passes away afterwards.

so basically, my posts r gonna be rlly all over the place but just bear with it bc it's normal. it's getting better day by day
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

ChrisIsaak

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #126 on: January 30, 2014, 10:25:23 PM »

leechlet,

Can anyone come over and stay with you for a while? Like anyone from family, friends, etc.? Most of the emotionally unstabilizing factors come from being lonely (not having someone to talk with right next to you - skype and phone doesn't count) and pain. Are you taking pain meds, or is Dr. Guichet very conservative about this also? Tramadol really helps in moments of intense muscle pain.
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #127 on: January 30, 2014, 10:55:09 PM »

Hi Chris!

I am not in any pain and haven't taken pain med for almost a week now. Sometimes, I would take a tramadol if i am depressed just to get high. I know, that's sounds rlly stupid but it helps and i've only done it a couple times so it's all chill and i stopped doing it once my mood stablized more. i found that i am much more needy than before the surgery. i hang out with my helper now and we talk about philosophy and i teach him economics and english and stuff. we r going to church on sunday. i am much more social now in a bipolar kinda way. i talk to random ppl in the center just to get attention. i think the mood swing is mostly due to just hormones and emotions. but now i am slowly getting used to the reality that i am actually doing LL and things r gonna be like this for a while, so just chillax and try to enjoy it and learn what i can from this very unique journey
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

ChrisIsaak

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #128 on: January 30, 2014, 11:52:50 PM »

Lol, I know exactly what you mean bro. I love the dreams I get when I take Tramadol. Last time I took it, I was in Germany, in Dr. Betz's office. Everyone was German but they were speaking in English -with a German accent- and Betz was wearing a white doctor's shirt. However, his office was like a butcher shop or a sanitorium, haha.. The room was full of coolers and weird white machines.. Then a hot nurse got in, unfortunately that's when I woke up.. Man I know this sounds dangerous and freaky but I seriously love Tramadol.
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mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #129 on: January 31, 2014, 10:40:41 PM »

Hey Leechlet, are you still taking the anticoagulant?
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #130 on: February 01, 2014, 12:20:14 AM »

Hi mediocre,

I am taking blood thinners and anti inflamatory medicine. It's supposed to stop the bone from consolidating prematurely as far as I understand
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #131 on: February 01, 2014, 12:22:10 AM »

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the support. I think I'll be struggling with emotional issues for a while, and I have gotten into the habit of using my vids and this forum as an outlet for my feelings. I am super needy right now and I ask my helper Wilbert to accompany me until I fall asleep, watch me click, and stuff like that. Basically, kindagarden stuffs. This journey is kinda lonely to be honest and i need to get a life in Milan asap or i need to leave and finish in the US

Here is the vid of my xray and explains the problems I had last week. I had some very tough days last week, and this xray will explain it all:



This is a vid i made last week in my moment of suffering. I am in a lot worse mood than I sound. I am stoic like that:



If u guys have any input that might help, please let me know. THis is a huge problem and rlly tested my commitment to this journey a million times
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #132 on: February 01, 2014, 12:25:21 AM »

How long are you supposed to take the blood thinners, entire lengthening phase?

Hi mediocre,

I am taking blood thinners and anti inflamatory medicine. It's supposed to stop the bone from consolidating prematurely as far as I understand
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mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #133 on: February 01, 2014, 12:37:28 AM »

They don't have digital file of the x-rays? Would be easier to analyze the small details if you could get one, usually burned to CD.

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the support. I think I'll be struggling with emotional issues for a while, and I have gotten into the habit of using my vids and this forum as an outlet for my feelings. I am super needy right now and I ask my helper Wilbert to accompany me until I fall asleep, watch me click, and stuff like that. Basically, kindagarden stuffs. This journey is kinda lonely to be honest and i need to get a life in Milan asap or i need to leave and finish in the US

Here is the vid of my xray and explains the problems I had last week. I had some very tough days last week, and this xray will explain it all:



This is a vid i made last week in my moment of suffering. I am in a lot worse mood than I sound. I am stoic like that:



If u guys have any input that might help, please let me know. THis is a huge problem and rlly tested my commitment to this journey a million times
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #134 on: February 01, 2014, 01:03:15 AM »

hi, i am not sure. the paper says a few weeks but dr guichet changes his mind suddenly a not without notifying me. for example, he told me to do 21 clicks a day and today out of no where he suddenly emailed me and said he hope i am not still doing 21 clicks a day. wtf. was i supposed to just change my click rate randomly? he is a bit unorganized bc he is rlly busy. he is always traveling to other countries for a few days and have meetings and stuff.

and no, they dont have digital files apparently. i know that's so werid bc in the US all my xrays r digital. but here in the isokinetic center, i see other patients carrying around their xray in a bag
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #135 on: February 01, 2014, 01:24:47 AM »

Yeah, it's weird cuz our hospital has not used films/negatives (only digital) for the past 2 years now. It's tough to make life size x-rays from negatives just by videoing or taking photo; plus we have different screen resolutions for youtube.

Either way, x-ray negatives are in no way a reflection of how good the LL program.

I hope Dr Guichet can address your issue with right femur lengthening. I'm just surprised why he's not aware you're doing 21 clicks daily; and being busy is not a reason. Unless it's a simple slip of the mind.

Anyway, you're more than 1 inch taller now!
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #136 on: February 01, 2014, 01:51:12 AM »

Hi, thanks!

Dr Guichet just emailed me back angrily and told me to follow orders. In his book he gave me, it said in small font that after 8 days, to decrease from 21 to 15 clicks daily. That's his style. He officially tells u everything but emphasizes nothing, and expects u to figure it out. I am starting to get used to it.  ;)
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

Taller

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #137 on: February 01, 2014, 04:22:11 AM »

Hi Leechlet. Your videos are truly inspiring and as honest as anyone could aver hope and wish for. They show the reality of LL, and that is invaluable and hard to come by.

If you don't mind my asking, what is your total lengthening goal and why?
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mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #138 on: February 01, 2014, 04:37:44 AM »

Okay, so it's supposed to be in the book. ;)

Hi, thanks!

Dr Guichet just emailed me back angrily and told me to follow orders. In his book he gave me, it said in small font that after 8 days, to decrease from 21 to 15 clicks daily. That's his style. He officially tells u everything but emphasizes nothing, and expects u to figure it out. I am starting to get used to it.  ;)
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #139 on: February 01, 2014, 12:27:20 PM »

Hi Tall,

My goal innitially is 10cm. It still is. I choose this bc I want to do 10cm again on my tibia a few years later after I start my own company and is able to pay for it. That was before I got the surgery...

Right after the surgery, I was suffering so much I seriusly thought about going back to America right away and just letting my 1cm that I've gotten during the surgery heal up and call it quits, maybe take out the nail a few month later.

Now, at almost 3cm, I am much more calm and have yet another view. I want to go to 10cm still, but I am much less certain about the 10cm on tibia in the future. Honestly, i dont' even think about my "goal" anymore. There r so many hard days that the last thing I want to do during my hrs of suffering and no sleep is to think " , I still sighed up for much MORE of this stuff..."

i take one step at a time now, but thinking of the past or the future is sooo stressful and counterproductive. it's like grinding online poker. u don't set out to build a huge bankroll. u improve ur game and play each hand as perfectly as a hand could be played. and then pretty soon u have a bankroll.
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

Doflamingo

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #140 on: February 01, 2014, 03:51:38 PM »

Can you walk without support?
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Arche

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #141 on: February 01, 2014, 04:07:13 PM »

Hi Tall,

My goal innitially is 10cm. It still is. I choose this bc I want to do 10cm again on my tibia a few years later after I start my own company and is able to pay for it. That was before I got the surgery...

Right after the surgery, I was suffering so much I seriusly thought about going back to America right away and just letting my 1cm that I've gotten during the surgery heal up and call it quits, maybe take out the nail a few month later.

Now, at almost 3cm, I am much more calm and have yet another view. I want to go to 10cm still, but I am much less certain about the 10cm on tibia in the future. Honestly, i dont' even think about my "goal" anymore. There r so many hard days that the last thing I want to do during my hrs of suffering and no sleep is to think "s**t, I still sighed up for much MORE of this stuff..."

i take one step at a time now, but thinking of the past or the future is sooo stressful and counterproductive. it's like grinding online poker. u don't set out to build a huge bankroll. u improve ur game and play each hand as perfectly as a hand could be played. and then pretty soon u have a bankroll.

Hey Leechlet, what is Dr. Guichet's opinion regarding proportions. Does he believe adding 20 cm of height will keep one within proportion? How about 10 cm in total? Thanks!
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Doflamingo

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #142 on: February 01, 2014, 04:18:01 PM »

I would like to do LL with Dr Guichet could you please give me his email?
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ChrisIsaak

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #143 on: February 02, 2014, 08:09:36 PM »

Leechlet,

I think you're very brave for speaking your mind about your doctor and clearly telling about all the problems you are facing at the moment. Dr. Guichet is a very good doctor, but his attitude of "I know it best", I'm afraid, makes people think that he's the best doctor one can possibly go. Before they do LL, one should keep in mind that there is no such thing as "best doctor". Every doctor can be the "best" for one patient while being the "worst" for another. I admired Dr. Guichet thoroughly examining my legs for more than an hour in his office when I visited him in Milano, but unlike Dr. Paley (who made me take an EOS scan) or Dr. Inan (who made me take on Orthoroentgenogram), basically X-rays of the legs, all Dr. Guichet did was get my muscle power and endurance tested at the Isokinetic Center. He didn't ask for X-rays. He looked at the angle at which I could bend my legs, and concluded, "You can't lengthen more than 3,5 cm's". "Come back when you're ready". He told me that I could go to France and train with his physiotherapist for a couple months there to increase my leg muscle mass by at least thirty percent.

Now at the time I found this logical and went to Pilates for a while to increase my flexibility. However, when I contacted Dr. Paley about my meeting with Dr. Guichet, this is what he told me.

At that time, I recall saying "Wow.. So two of the greatest LL doctors don't agree with each other?" I was naive - Apparently, this happens quite often in the world of medicine. There is no single "Right answer" or "Wrong answer", and doctors might disagree.

Now close to 3 cm at my lengthening with Dr. Inan in Istanbul, I know what Dr. Guichet told me was bull , and Paley was right. I don't mean to be harsh, as I still respect Guichet a lot, but I'm a bit frustrated of having visited him in Milan, he made me dwell a month with unnecessary pre-op training and lost me precious time.

I'm finally posting this email after many months because I'm sick of people thinking "Overly cautious doctor is the best". It's not necessarily so.

I hope I didn't lower your morale by sharing this. You'll be fine, Leechlet, trust me. Your complication sounds like a minor issue. Maybe it's a consequence of using a ratcheting mechanism. I met a Guichet patient while I was in Milan, he's back in France now and in very good condition. You'll be in superb condition as well. Patience for all of us LL patients.. Good luck.
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BilateralDamage

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #144 on: February 02, 2014, 08:57:53 PM »

Thanks for sharing that Chris.  I always felt that Guichet's pre-OP training and requirements were a hack, and it's pretty obvious that other doctors would agree.  You should visit him when you're 8 cm taller and say "look at me now bitch!"  ;D
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ChrisIsaak

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #145 on: February 02, 2014, 10:01:14 PM »

Thanks for sharing that Chris.  I always felt that Guichet's pre-OP training and requirements were a hack, and it's pretty obvious that other doctors would agree.  You should visit him when you're 8 cm taller and say "look at me now bitch!"  ;D

Look me at me now Guichet
Look at me now
I'm gettin papeeer
 8)

Lol..
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #146 on: February 02, 2014, 10:56:46 PM »

Hi, after skyping with some of his old patients and viewing their xrays, I realized that dr guichet was right. This problem will get better over time and not impede on lengthening.

I was angry earlier and angry dialed him like 15 times, and then sent a bunch of fkK YOU emails to him. I even made some angry vids about how i hated him and how he's incompetent.

But, as I calmed down and started skyping with his old patients, I realized that this problem isnt really as bad as I thought.

I think I am going to stop posting on this forum for a while. It's rlly stressful having to explain what I am doing every step of the way especially since I am rlly emotinally unstable right now. I am physically stable now, but my mood is still stabilizing.

I am still going to continue making vids. But I don't want any feedback from the community at this time.

Thank you for understanding. I dont want to make something out of nothing again. I feel like an idiot. I am going to email him and apologize now.
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

ChrisIsaak

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #147 on: February 02, 2014, 11:02:12 PM »

Best of luck. Take your time man. We can always Skype whenever you feel like talking to someone.
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mediocre

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #148 on: February 03, 2014, 12:27:42 AM »

Wow sending those F*** YOU are kind of harsh.

I hope you're feeling better emotionally now.
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Smallguy

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #149 on: February 03, 2014, 12:58:09 AM »

Thanks for the video.

It's quite a different experience reading a comment about pain than it is to actually watch it on video and to be able to experience the moment. I wouldn't know that the clicking would bring that much pain have I not watch your video!

Not sure why the Dr. decided to go with the extra long screw on your right. Could it be a publicity stunt? Like everything will work out in the end?

And I don't think Dr. Guichet would mind your F* you email. I'm pretty sure he has received like this type of email before from his patients and he could understand what his patients are going through.

I think I'm pretty good at telling ppl not to give up. Feel free to give me a call whenever you feel like giving up at 1 206 866 5950 or PM your facebook id. Cool, take-care.
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leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #150 on: February 03, 2014, 06:41:51 AM »

hey guys!

please hold off the commenting for a while as i said i want to lay off the forum for a while

of course i didn't say f u to him. i expressed my anger in a much more civil yet obviously angry way. just two concise paragraphs about how i think he installed the screw wrong and how as the best LL doc in the world, he should admit to his mistake. i told him that i admit the problem is small, but that this is an attack on his personality rather than on the end result of LLing and i wanted an apology.

but behind my civil words, u can definitely see the anger, especially since i anger dialed him 15 times after he obviously hanged up on me

here is my vid explaining what happened



let me make the next post. that will signal when i ready to return to the forum
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #151 on: February 03, 2014, 06:43:49 AM »

hey smallguy

love to skye and be friend with u on fb! its expensive to make calls to the US here, but my skype is LeechletLL
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #152 on: February 09, 2014, 11:19:58 AM »

hey guys, havent posted for a while. here is dr guichet's response to my problem

=============================================================================================================
START
=============================================================================================================
I understand your concern as it is the problem linked to this period of lengthening with healing reaction and tension over the nail, screws… everywhere! The right side hurts more during clicking because ratchets are lifted on that side by clicking rotation. Pain is increased by strong healing with local inflammation, which is completely normal and happens in all patients. It is the fact of lengthening. IT WILL SOLVE BY ITSELF.

You nail is perfectly inserted and very solid. There is no fracture or other sign at risk, as you suspected at once. We insert the nail through the skin and soft tissues and getting perfect symmetry without opening and identical positioning among patients is impossible, and not needed. The small things that you think are important on x-rays have no real implications, and some patients have far longer screws than you with no pain at all. Your pain is not linked to that but to the healing phase. Other things are far more important: getting good screws and nail to allow full walking, sports, doing bike from the first post-operative day, evaluation we provide on muscles and bone quality, preoperative professional training, following the recommendations, etc.

To make thing clear for your complaint, you have 0 pain out of clics, 0 pain during clic on the left and a pain of 2/10 on the right at clicking and this without any pain killers. It is self explanatory. The rest is a large stress reaction induced by the lengthening. So do not worry.

As I told you, the changes in the body added to the lengthening principle (you get in 2 months what Natural growth provides in the femurs in 60 months; it is like running at 300 miles per hour for a human being!!!), are unknown and destabilize your psychological side, creating psychological stress.

The only concern in the thorough follow-up I offer to my patients is to check there is nothing abnormal, which is confirmed for you, and to accept the fact of lengthening and healing. So you need to control your stress in this life experience, as you would do if you jumping from a bridge with an elastic cord.

I perfectly understand your stress, but it should not deviate you to strictly follow ALL recommandations (10 sessions of full exercices per day, 1.5 hours of bike per day, 1 hour pif walking per day (difficult to perform in other tens with other nails), in order to optimize your recovery and healing. Any deviation (generally due to a high stress level) will slow down the functional recovery.

We are here to coach you and help you closely in your procedure, with a constant and thorough control.

Have a nice day.

Jean-Marc Guichet, MD, PhD, Doct. Sci.

SELARL du Docteur Jean-Marc Guichet
Centre Phocea, 14 Bd Ganay
13009 Marseille - France
Office: +33.491.777.547
Office (mobile): +33.664.163.890
E-Mail: jeanmarcguichet@gmail.com
Web: www.allongement-os-grandir.com

Studio SOMA
Via Nicola Piccinni, 3
20130 Milano (MI)
Italy
Office: +39.328.634.2941
E-Mail: jeanmarcguichet@gmail.com
Web: www.allongement-os-grandir.com

=============================================================================================================
END
=============================================================================================================
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

leechlet

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #153 on: February 09, 2014, 11:20:22 AM »

ust a quick update,

The screw problem on the right is no longer causing pain, or at least not as much. It's still harder to click the right than the left, but no where near as bad as a week and half ago.

Right now, I have bigger problems to worry about. I lost over 10% body weight. It's weird, bc despite getting LLing and gettting Julia back (if u've been following my channel, i started talking to my college sweetheart again, the girl i got LL for), i am depressed and lack energy all the time. This is partially psychological as I ran out of things to live for and need to make new goals, but it's mostly due to the fact that my body has lost a tremendous amount of mass. Dr Guichet said that if this continues, i am at risk for suicide.

I asked for anti depressants, but he said the best thing is to EAT MORE and MOVE MORE. to be honest, i have been skipping trainning a lot to be in bed all day listening to sad music and contemplating my life and sleep. i don't even have any interest in women anymore. i can't even finish one campaign on SC2, something i used to be able to play 14 hrs a day.

this is why i haven't been posting. i just want to be alone. i feel tired and weak. i am no longer in pain, and stopped pain medication long ago. i feel like a teenager again, a pre adolesence teenager. i appreciate music 18973457432975x more than before.

i am determined to slowly gain back my weight and keep up with the rehab routine. i have been rlly behind the trainning, but dr guichet thinks i can still get to 10cm if i get my shi* together NOW. and you bet i will. all my life, things have been handed to me. all my life, i put blame on others. my parents would've paid for any LL doctor I asked for. i got Julia back, she who accepted me when i was short and now supports me despite not agreeing to this contraversial surgery. and yet, i lay wasted in the battlefield.

it's time to GET BACK UP. it's time to FIGHT BACK

just watch me. i have everything i asked for on paper. if i fail now, there's no one to blame but myself. this is my hour of EVOLUTION. i will come back to my family and beautiful Julia, not just 10cm taller, but a much stronger and more compassionate person. this is not given to me. this is something i have to earn for myself
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"I feel that no matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And as I am striving to change the world, I will be happy." -- Sam Berns

Skype: LeechletLL

antoky

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Re: Leechlet Internal Femur 2014 Dr Guichet
« Reply #154 on: February 09, 2014, 01:32:16 PM »

Hey, dude...don't think anymore about 10 cm!...instead, think about every click and exercise and eating and resting you have to put in actual practice and in concrete now..here and now...so go for just these four things!
They will lead you to your goal or very close to it.
We cheer for you, Leechlet!

P.S.: Dr Guichet should re-evaluate all his psychological evaluation stuffs with dr Bisagni :)...his psychiatrist would go mad with you, my friend!
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"Be the change you want to see in the world" (Gandhi)
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